Taggity twag from Aunty Wai Chi =D

Getting tag is old news.


A. Attached or single?
Attached. My butt has been glued to this chair for 2 hours.

B. Best friend?
Can't tell you here. The last time I answered this question, someone stalked me demanding why their name wasn't in the list.

C. Cake or pie?
Chocolate

D. Day of choice?
Funday.

E. Essential item?
Currently, flu pills. =(

F. Favorite colour?
Black (<<< its half-truth, you won't understand why)

G. Gummy bears or worms?
Wormy bears.

H. Hometown?
KL...I think.

I. Favorite indulgence?
Doing stupid tags?

J. January or July?
December

K. Kids?
No thanks. Vicki Lee and kids don't go well together.

L. Life isn't complete without?
Death.

M. Marriage date?
No thanks, the word "marriage" scares me a lot.

N. Number of brothers and sisters?
Why even ask these kind of personal questions?? I have one half-brother and one half-sister...so does that make one full brother/sister? Half bro + half sis = one...nevermind.

O. Oranges or apples?
...watermelons.

P. Phobias?
Uhh, butterflies.

Q. Quotes?
"I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." Stole it from Ps. Mike's blog, 'cause I can't think of any.

R. Reasons to smile?
Hard to explain.

T. Tag 5 people
1. My dog
2. My other dog
3. My neighbour's dog
4. My neighbour's dog punya mate
5. Avril Lavigne

U. Unknown fact about me?
Let it remain unknown, you prying little rascal.

V. Vegetable?
Uhh, carrots? cucumber?

W. Worst habits?
I don't clean my room.

X. X-ray or Ultrasound?
Uhh, I prefer normal stuff. Like candy and an ipod.

Y. Your favorite type of food?
Cheeseburgers without the bread.

Z. Zodiac?
Crabs.

Christie, just because you're tag, doesn't mean you have to tag me too.

I edited out the instructions. Like who cares anyway.

Let the "fun" begin.

No 1
1) your nickname : Vicki
2) age : 114
3) D.O.B. : 3rd July 1894
4) Zodiac Sign : Crabby crabs =D
5) Interests : Singing, music, book nerd-ing, surfing net, writing, swimming, sleeping, greek mythology-ing.

No 2
1) Crush : None
2) Are you in a relationship? : Nope
3) Live in happiness now? : Generally, yes.
4) If god gives you unlimited courage, what will you like to do? : Storm into the nearest recording company and demand a record deal. Running away from home ain't too bad either.
5) If one day, the one you love confesses to you? : YAY! =.="

No 3
1) The one who tagged you is : Christie
2) She/he is your : Best friend, classmate, smile generator and one of the few friends who stays up to 4am, online.
3) How is she/he? : Uhh, fine, thank you?
4) How long have you been knowing her/him? : Almost 8 years. Yeah!
5) What do you think of her/him? : Great friend, cute, very immune to my whining, sarcastically sweet.
6) What will you like to tell her/him? : "Tag me one more time and I will siege your house."

No 4
1) Your favourite show: Amazing Race, Fear Factor
2) Your favourite music: Paramore, Jonas Brothers, Jesse McCartney, Pauline's compositions and mine.
3) Your favourite season: Autumn, when the leaves are red and gold.
4) Your favourite cartoon: Tom and Jerry all the way!!!
5) Your favourite person (the one you love the most): Family, friends,
6) Favourite colour: No comment
7) Favourite country: Malaysia's just fine.
8) Favourite weather: Sunny and warm, minus the humidity.

No 5
1) If God gives you three wishes:
a. No comment. (But a record deal would be nice)
b. No comment. (How nice if I could publish CotS...)
c. Eternity
2) Are you a single-minded person?: Definitely not.
3) Your most unforgettable and memorable memory is: Currently, I'd say its being slain, but that's more of a feeling than a memory.
4) Are you a person full of confidence?: Depends on the occasion.
5) Do you like to smile?: I prefer laughing.
6) Will you choose to give up your current way of living?: No, but if I must, then I will.
7) What kind of life do you hope for?: One that has peace, hope, love, faith. And like Christie said, having tons of money wouldn't hurt either.

I tag:
1. Joe Jonas
2. Jesse McCartney
3. President Bush.
4. Maybe I'll tag Andrew for fun, since he never kena before.

Forever & Always

You're like water, slipping through your fingers. I've tried to hold on so tight, my hands...my heart is hurting. But like water, it seeps through the natural gaps, through weak defences and just like that, you're gone.

Perhaps not gone forever, but gone for now at least. We don't ever talk. You don't ever reply my messages. Our conversations are either empty or cold. There's nothing left to say but "hi", "bye", "sorry" and "nevermind". We're all dry.

Its wrong, but I feel like I hold grudges against them. Its like they're taking you away. They are certainly not, but I feel the rising resentment. I hear you speak, but its empty. I see your face, but you're not there. I watch you move, but its different.

I've tried so hard to hold on, to keep talking, to never let this fire die. But in the end, like water slipping through my fingers, I tire of trying to hold the fluid within my hands. And you slip right through my fingers, while I desperately try to hold on.

I don't care if you care about this, you probably don't anyway. I do care, so much that it hurts, but I won't anymore. Because I'm starting to wonder if you're worth it. I won't work for this anymore.

When you're gone,
The pieces of my heart are missing you,
When you're gone,
The face I came to know is missing too,
When you're gone,
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day,
And make it okay,
I miss you.

Now its from friends to mere acquaintances. But the memories etched in my mind will never fade. Forever and always.

But i'm too late. You're already gone.

If Only Luck Could...

If luck could get me through my piano exam, I'd pass with full marks.

Unfortunately, that's not the case. Because the word "practice" exists in the dictionary of nature.

You wouldn't believe how nervous I was in the waiting room. I think I annoyed my parents half to death by babbling non-stop.

Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please PLEASE let me pass this piano exam as it is worth one year of piano fees and the RM 1,030 examination fee which promptly adds up to ...alot. A real damn lot of money.

And not only the money! One year of practice! All the time wasted if I don't pass.

PLEASE. LET. ME. PASS.

AMEN!

~Smart Ass

Hot & Cold

This is one song I wish I wrote: Katy Perry's Hot n Cold. Its sounds really ugh, bitchy, but the lyrics are...cool.

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a *censored*
I would know

You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

I really really really wish this was my composition. I rarely feel envious of songs written by other people, this is one of the few exceptions. The other one is Taylor Swift's Love Story. Really sweet lyrics, despite the drabby melody and her whiny voice.

You were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."

And I said,"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in thy head? I don't know what to think-"

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet - you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

Oh I was suppose to concentrate on my piano exam. UGH. Fine, no more songs then.

Tagged by Christie

Because I am bored, I will do this tag. Tengoklah, betapa baiknya aku, orang tag aku, aku buat. XD

I might as well spent the rest of my blog-life doing tags, because there's nothing to post about!!!! War on tags!

Yourself:

Name: Kim Victoria Lee Yoong Chin
Nickname(s): Vick, Tweaky, Princess Sweetie (XD), Baby V, alot of meant-to-tease-you- nicknames which I tend to ignore and believe it or not, Pauline still calls me Midget. Hmph.
Height: Like I'd tell you!
Favourite colour: I can't tell you either, because alot of people will misunderstand.

What are you doing?(besides doing this tag):
~ Typing out my songs and filing them
~Thinking about magic
~Singing
~Listening to my mum nag about...I don't know, I'm not really listening.

List down 5 people that appears in your mind right now( and also the reason):
~My mum = Because she's nagging right in my ear
~Christie = Because she tagged me so many times its almost a crime
~Navian = Because I miss him
~Graham = Because I miss him more than I miss Navian
~Yu Kit = Because I'm typing "his" songs right now.

List down 5 people that is hyper active:
~Kelly
~Joey
~Vanessa
~Angelo (Ugh, I dislike his hyperactiveness, because it involves my doorbell ringing every 10 mins)
~Alot of guys. Alot.

List down 5 people that love to read:
~Meeee
~Kelly
~Christie
~Amelia
~Graham!

List down 5 of your favourite food:
~McD's fish burger
~Fries
~Pauline punya grandma's cooking
~Fried rice
~I...eat anything, okay?

You tag:
Jaime. Because everyone else I know has been tagged and Tiong Chin deleted his blog!!!!!!!

Tag, because I have nothing to post about.

Definition of tag: Kills boredom for you. Builts boredom for others.


1.The last person to tag you was?
Pearly. Or maybe its Peter. I don't know which one is the last to tag me.

2. Your relationship with him/her?
I'm supposed to be "married" to Pearly, but then Peter barged in between us. Jk, guys, I'm really joking. Please don't get offended, Pearly/Peter.

3. Your 5 impression towards him/her?
Pearly = Caring, sweet, easily hurt, pretty, and she nags alot at me.
Peter = Funny, occasionally lame, sweet talker, knows how to treat that girl right and is not a playboy.


4. The most memorable thing that he/she has ever done for you?
Pearly = The sweetest thing any girl has done for me =D
Peter = Singing with him for the Anugerah Cemerlang thingy. Both of us sucked so bad though, so I'd prefer to remember it has the most unmemorable thing.


5. The most memorable words that he/she has say to you?
Pearly = "Vicki, follow your heart. And please don't say that your heart says 'Go find Pearly and don't kacau me!'"
Peter = Can't remember any..


6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will...
I will love Pearly to death and Peter will become non-existent.


7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will...
I will complain to Amelia that Pearly's my enemy and Peter will become non-existent again.


8. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on...
Pearly has to improve on her nagging skills and Peter is the last guy on earth that will become my lover.


9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is..
Pearly = ...because I raided her house for chocolates?
Peter = ...because he hurts her intentionally, which I'm sure he'll never will.


10. The most desirable things to do for him/her is...
Pearly = Watch Twilight with her and make her happy.
Peter = Get his computer to load auditionsea.com


11. Overall impression towards him/her is...
Pearly = A true friend, who goes through the good and bad with you.
Peter = A funnily lame sweet talker who is not a playboy but knows how to treat that girl right.


12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Friends will think I'm too annoying. Strangers will feel uncomfortable.


13. The character you love of yourself is?
I'm not sure. I like my musical part, but I don't think that's a "character".


14. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
My stupid tendency to overthink stuff.


15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Whoever God made me to be.


16. For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.
I'll say it face-to-face, not here. Thanks for reminding me though. Sarcasm, in case you didn't realise.


17. Bra or panties?
Neither. I'd prefer my I Love Not You t-shirt


18. Chocolate or ice-cream?
Neither. Its KFC or nothing.


19. 10 people to tag.
1. Pearly
2. Joey
3. Navian
4. Pauline
5. Kelly
6. Christie
7. Ben Goh
8. Peter
9. Yu Kit
10. Amelia

20. Who is number 2 having a relationship with?
Alot..CFK, LMC, .....maybe even LTC?

21. Is 3 a male or a female?
He used to be a bit of both, but now it seems like he's a "he" after all.

22. If number 7 and 10 got together, would that be a good thing?
NO. I don't think anyone would let No. 10 go anywhere near No. 7. Not unless they want the surrounding area demolished of course...

23. How about 5 and 8?
Hmm, not sure. I don't think so.

24. What is number 1 studying about?
Love. Interesting subject, huh?

25. When was the last time you had a chat with them?
Either its a few mins ago or yesterday or the day before yesterday or last week or etc, etc.

26. Is number 4 single?
Yes, but she's unavailable.

27. Say something about number 2.
Boy-crazy =D

28. What do you think about number 3 and 6 being together?
They'd look sweet together. Yin and yang. Tall and short. Male and female. Brownie and Christie.

29. Describe number 9.
Secretive, hard to fathom, sarcastic and has nice eyes.

30. What will you do if number 6 and 7 fights?
Hmm, usually its a one-sided fight where No. 6 calls No. 7 different variations of "obnoxious, irresponsible pig!". But I was under the impression that they were...nevermind, its girl stuff.

Christie is positively gonna murder me when she sees this tag.

~Smudgy.

P.S. Think twice before you blurt it out.

Morning Wake-up Call

Do you know how annoying the alarm is in the morning?

Its equally as annoying as my dad, who insists I wake up at 8.00AM everyday, which is unearthly, considering its holidays. Holidays are given so we can catch up on the sleep we never had during non-holidays.

And then of course there's the stay-online-till-its-past-midnight which every school kid does almost every holiday night where the guys bang non-stop at DotA and the girls gossip on MSN to save phone bill and- what else do the girls do anyway? I'm one and I have no idea. Read blogs and annoy people to update their blogs I guess.

Its funny how within five minutes of going online, there can be 7 people all IM-ing you at once, all with the same greeting, "Update your blog". They don't even bother to say "hi". Mind you, I'm talking about the stay-online-till-past-midnight situation, and not the wake-up-at-8am-because-you-have-to.

But noooo, its always poor Vicki who has to sleep early and get up early because of Daddy and the Piano Exam right smack in the middle of HUGE and the never-gonna-happen-now-London-trip.

Sigh, guess I never got over HUGE. Maybe because I was really looking forward to it this year.

Anyway, enough of this self pity! Lets talk about nightmares. I had a weird dream yesterday, which I can't remember now, except that it involves plastic dolls and a bomb exploding. And no, I wasn't playing with dolls. They were just walking around on the floor and a bomb exploded and something else happened but I can't remember.

~Smudgy (I like that name =D)

P.S. Feeling slightly angry, but still relieved.

Tagged by Peter (and my sister asked me to update)

Those who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

1) Name of the person you tagged:
Jaime.

2) Describe yourself in one word
Paranoid

3) Who will you pick, someone who really love you or someone you love?
I will pick someone I love whom really loves me.

4) Have you ever love someone but never had the courage to tell?
Nope. I tell Navian I love him all the time! XD

5) What if someone reject your confessions face to face?
None.Of.Your.Bees.Wax. (Don't ask me what that means. I'm quoting someone again.)

6) Have you ever thought about the meaning of love?
Yes, about 6 million times only.

7) What will you say to a person who doesn't want to believe you?
Depends on who the person is and what he/she doesn't want to believe.

8) Was there a time that you tried to learn to love someone?
No, idiot. You can't learn to love someone. You either do, or you don't. I'm beginning to feel this tag is pointless.

9) Do you have someone special with you all the time?
Yes.

10) Long distance love?
If you're asking whether I've tried that, the answer is no.

11) Best place to cry?
In the toilet. There's a sink.

12) Love the most?
Certainly not this tag. Your questions are so annoying..and you don't even ask them in full sentence!

13) Ever hated someone so bad?
The word "hate" does not exist in my dictionary.

14) Biggest and most hurtful lie you've heard?
Let's see...I think its "I love you."

15) The last person you had beer with?
Sin Mun and Gwen.

16) The last person you went to the movies with?
Can't remember. I think it was Kelly, Yu Kit, Jeff, Koon Thong and Tiong Chin. Oh yeah, them. We threw popcorn at each other.

17) The last person you talked on the cell phone with?
Mum.

18) The last person you hugged?
Can't remember. Either it was Pearly or Navian. Or maybe Kelly. Or Pauline. Or...nevermind.

19) The last person you yelled at?
Can't remember. But I feel like yelling at Peter and Yu Kit.

20) In the last week, have you kissed someone?
No, silly.

Tired...

...because I stayed up till 5 yesterday. With absolutely nothing to do other than talking crap on MSN and yet I couldn't sleep. So I resorted to playing with astrology compatibility (spelling?) on www.bored.com . And Jaime wouldn't reply my emails. So I was stuck with bored.com. Sucked.

Random pics which I got from Kelvin...months ago.

See how bored I am? If it weren't for Aaron Carter's song Do You Remember, I would have gone insane of boredom hours ago.

~Smartee

P.S. Someone said falling off your chair helps in building character. Go on, try it.

Insomnia

*inhale*

Its-three-in-the-morning-and-I-can't-sleep-in-fact-I-haven't-been-sleeping-much-since-holidays-started-unless-you-count-those-naps-in-the-car-while-my-dad-drives-me-to-piano-class-anyway-that's-not-the-point-the-point-is-I-CAN'T-SLEEP-what-do-I-do-and-that's-why-I'm-here-online-with-absolutely-nothing-to-do-other-than-reread-old-emails-and-no-one-has-updated-their-blogs-maybe-I-should-write-out-another-update-of-Chronicles-of-the-Saccarimans-just-to-please-Christie-and-Pauline-two-of-my-favourite-readers-and-exceptional-authors-themselves-anyway-being-able-to-write-novels-still-doesn't-help-my-non-existent-ability-to-sleep-AT-NIGHT-I-still-remember-Mike-(jokingly?)-said-best-time-to-worship-God-is-when-you're-sleeping-because...etc.-anyway-someone-help-me-because-I-CAN'T-SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*exhale*

I don't expect anyone to read what's up there. Forget that.

I had a blood pressure checkup today. Doctor said my blood pressure is lower than the average, which may be due to adolescent stuff a.k.a. "best friend", but still might be dangerous. I'm...worried.

~An exhausted but unable-to-sleep Smartee.

My Book Wrapping Disaster

Last Thursday was the last day of exams. Wheee!

Unfortunately, we also had to return our SPBT text books. And of course...the teacher started reading out all the fines...buku koyak/rosak = RM 1 ... buku hilang = original price + RM 3 ... buku tak balut = RM 1 ...buku ta= WAIT, did you say buku tak balut = RM 1??

So basically everyone was last minute wrapping their books with clear wrappers which Celeste produced out of nowhere (sometimes I really love her. She's a real efficient monitor...who rarely runs from her duties, even though whisking book wrapper out of thin air doesn't really count as her duty...) and of course, I had 6 unwrapped books. Bliss. Problem is...

I've never wrapped a book in my life. Ever.

Anyway, thanks to Kelly, Christie, Yee Yan, Jing Yen and Pearly for helping...and howling with laughter at my disastrous attempts in trying to fit my English Literature: The Phantom of the Opera into the wrapper. The end product is of course...beyond disastrous...and after rolling-on-the-floor-laughing-like-a-hyena for 5 minutes, thank god Christie decided to fix it up.

Hmph.

Oh and we had photo session. =D

Our class photo. We had to evacuate half the tables in the class just to get this photo done. (Jk, we pushed them to the back.)

And Christie thinks she's really funny by drawing this on the class white board. Just to prove how messy my hair is at school. Ha-ha.

~Smartee

P.S. ...nothing. =D

Because you had a bad day.

Urgh. (I never use "urgh")

URGH!

Its like everything went wrong today. I flunk Maths Paper 2. I thought I did okay in Maths Paper 1...then I stupidly checked answers with my friends and realised that...that... =( And Sejarah was so freakily freakish freaking hard.

And lunch was worse. My parents kept asking the same question like, 25 times (if not 5 million)...they just use different variations. And pur-lease, its a freaking mamak stall AND THE FOOD TOOK 45 MINUTES TO COME WHAT THE HECK I'M A GROWING CHILD (even though I don't grow) I NEED FOOD EVERY 2 HOURS. (and i'm not even gonna mention the fact that the fried rice tasted like mash potatoes....Oh. I just did.)

And piano was worse. I never felt so helpless before the 10-times-my-size grand piano before. I...I...just...I can't play it! I hate octaves exercises. But yet I must train. And why? Because my hands are born 4 times smaller than the average person. Whereas my ego is twice as big.

And while I was struggling with playing semiquaver octaves at crotchet tempo = 76, my dad kept asking me to do things for him. (He was exercising on the aerobic machine)

"Vicki, turn the aircon this way."

"Vicki, bring my towel"

"Vicki, lower the air con temperature."

"Vicki, pass me the TV remote."

"Vicki...Vicki ..Vicki.....blah blah dih dah!"

To top off my perfect day, I check my email some 20 minutes ago, and it said worship practice is rescheduled on Wednesday. And on Thursday, I have my all-around-best-killer subject...the one and only.

G.E.O.G.R.A.P.H.Y. So obviously my parents won't let me go.

Do you know how dissapointed I'm feeling right now?

1. I'm gonna fail all my final exams and get kicked into a lower class.

2. I'm gonna fail my piano exam in December and wait another year before I can get my professional cert.

3. I can't go to HUGE.

4. I can't watch HSM 3 because Andrew's pendrive won't load on my computer.

5. I'm gonna lose the bet I made with Pearly and Ben.

6. I can't see Navian as often as I want to.

7. I can't swim as fast as I used to.

8. I can't play my original songs with a band.

9. I can't see Graham and Jackie and I miss all my all-over-the-world friends like hell.

10. I can't sing. Everyday it feels like I'm losing my voice bit by bit. These vocal chords feel so thin right now, I'm afraid.

~Smartee

P.S. At least in a day of negativity, I had some positive signs.

1. I got good marks for KH
2. The dreams stopped yesterday.

Bahasa Inggeris Kertas 2

Bahasa Inggeris Kertas 2. Satu jam tiga puluh minit. JANGAN BUKA KERTAS SOALAN INI SEHINGGA DIBERITAHU.

Since we're taking a Bahasa Inggeris exam, what's wrong with just saying English Paper 2. One hour and thirty minutes. Do not open this examination sheet until ...blah blah blah

Since its contents are all in English, why must the cover be in Bahasa Melayu. Its kinda dumb, now that I think about it. Taking english exam...with the cover in malay. Brilliant. But nevermind, this is irrelevant.

Anyway, English has always been an extra-important subject to me, maybe because its the ONE exam that I really do enjoy taking. This time's english paper was considerably hard...EXCEPT FOR SUMMARY. I ain't gonna write out the entire passage here...I'll just type out the summary written by me.

Nowsadays, there are many problems that teenagers face. They become embarrassed or depressed when their body changes physically. Also in their social life, peer pressure forces them to do many things against will. Meanwhile at home, they receive stress from parents. Besides that, teenagers do not get sufficient love from career-building parents. Lastly, due to hormonal changes, teenagers face extreme emotions.

I love this summary. It was relatively easy, compared to the freaking Section A essay on Nasi Lemak. Yeah..we had to write an essay on "fat rice".

Okay, so maybe all this teenager crap isn't all that true. But it isn't me! Its them! The people who set the exam questions! I'm just doing the SUMMARY.

Signing off,
A.S.A.P. (A Smart Ass Pants)

P.S. 5 dreams in a row. I can't take it anymore. When will you leave my head alone?

I got my PhD today!

I'm. So. Proud. Of. Myself.

Christie and I each got our PhD today!! Whee! Talk about prodigy!

By the way, I thought I'd post pictures of the class party today.

BUT THEN...

I'm lazy. So maybe I won't post them after all.

Oh and also, PhD stands for ............ *drum roll*

Tada!

Permanent Hand Damage.

We had BM essay writing exam today. 2 hours of non-stop "scratch goes the pencil". My right hand is no longer recognisable...bengkak sini bengkak sana. Now you know why I never write my stories out. I type them. Because if I do write them out...Vicki wouldn't have a right hand anymore. High five, Chris! Congrats on the PhD thingy.

Join me on my campaign against exams! Call this number...999. Or if you can't get through (which I doubt you can't) then refer to the other one. 911 I think.

Toodles.

~Smartee

P.S. Three dreams in a row. Leave me alone. If my exam results come out bad, I'll screw you onto a wall. No wait, I'll screw you into a wall.

Dream

I didn't want to wake up this morning.

Why?

Because of a stupid dream.

I've never dreamed of you before. Okay, maybe I did...ONCE (That was nothing but disturbing rubbish...I dreamed you were hurling bits of cheeseburger at Navian)

But this dream was different. I've never dreamed of anyone in this way, except for uhh, well...you-know-who.

This dream is wild. I didn't wanna wake up. I wanted it to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and never stop. Then my stupid 8.30am alarm clock rang the hell outta me, threw me on the floor along with the blanket...and POOF! Dream ended.

And it struck me during breakfast.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY DREAM? You don't belong in my head! Get out!

Why must we teenagers suffer this way? Why must we be complete retards for this part of our life? Whyyyy? *whines* WHYYYYY.



I don't wanna like you. But I'm afraid I might.


~Smartee hates puppy love (GET OUT OF MY LIFE)

P.S. Maybe I should go read the bible.

Everybody's Gonna Miss You

Everybody's Gonna Miss You is a song I composed with Pauline for Mr Navian when he left SBS. Anyway, lately I've been tampering a lot with it, editing and reformatting until its almost, well, unrecognisable. And I'm dying to play it with a full band, instead of always acoustic piano. Reason is because the format for acoustic and original pop is DIFFERENT.

I seriously wanna cook up a temporary band fast fast fast for that song. Better still, lets record it...home studio...who has that program??

........i'm getting carried away...

But I'm really serious...I wanna play full band that song. Lemme stalk Ben.
-----------------------------------------------

I had a fun time in church today (even though I was nearly late twice for worship and Mr-Trying-To-Change-His-Attitude gave me this "shake head" kinda look) (Navian was wearing his hot red shirt) (My mum was game master HAHAHA) and Jessica gave me tips on the concept of Geography along with a lot of "Oh, its easy! very easy!" Okok, if I get A for Geo, then I'll admit its easy.

Signing off,
Smartee

P.S. Congrats Pearly! Keep up the great work and never stop believing in yourself!

Smartee isn't so smart after all...

Nothing related to the title really. Just that I'm really lazy nowsadays. I'm suppose to play 4 hours of piano a day, study half that time, go jogging twice a week, edit my Suckers (blog links) list and add Andrew and 10 other people in. Help.

But malas.

Instead, all I ever do is chat non stop on MSN, sing non stop on the piano, DDR non stop on the PS, drag myself through piano and tell my dad I'll go to that stupid gym tomorrow. Help.

And I still remember what Mike said about reading 3 chaps a day and finishing the New Testament before 2009. I got as far as book of John...and I haven't read in a long long time. Help.

Exams are next week. MY GEOGRAPHY! ...

HELP.

Forgetting all that stuff which is bothering me, lets turn to happy matters. I wrote 5 new songs. 1st dedicated to Pearly. 2nd to Christie and Kelly (I particularly love this one even though I just realised the chorus tune takes after What I Go To School For by Jonas Brothers. It was UNINTENDED!). 2 more songs just for the heck of it. And you'll never guess who I wrote the last song for...

Edited 2 of old ones and wrote out the piano arrangement of "Change" (old song dedicated to Navian) on manuscript.

Nothing much happened for the holidays, other than the fact I'm still moaning about Huge Camp.

~Smartee

P.S. I'm chatting with Christie now.

Huge

I'm back at church again after 3 weeks of not going. :D First person I met was Sue Anne. :D Then Wai Chi. XD. Then pergi cari mana Nav and Ben makan. Ate more than I chatted (hungry). And Nav is seriously SLOW at eating. Forget the tortoise...this is snail pace. their conversation went something like this at one part.

Ben: Wei Nav, see...eat slower than girls. Eat faster la...we have practice with Sue Anne..
Nav: Well, I'm slow cuz i'm tall, therefore my intestines are longer and food takes longer to go down the intestines.
Ben: I'm not asking you to digest fast! Just ask you to eat fast! CHEW AND SWALLOW!
Nav: Hmph! Not enough salivary amylase!!!!!
Ben: *sneers* want me to give you some?
Nav: *opens mouth*
Vicki: ...EW.

Lame, but funny.

Also, I got good news and bad news from Mike.Good news is: We are going to Huge Camp this year!!!!! Unfortunately the bad news is: I-HAVE-PIANO-EXAM-ON-DECEMBER-TENTH-AND-THE-CAMP-IS-ON-8-TO-11-DECEMBER-WHAT-DO-I-DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, someone said "Vicki, thank you." to me today. Sweeet. I know, you're probably thinking "CHEH, its just a thank you nothing special, so what?" ...but this is a serious genuine thank you...not the typical "thank you for the sake of it or because i'm obliged to say it cuz you did something for me" which I get everyday. Nevermind, I'm never good at explaining stuff, so you probably wont' understand what I'm talking about.

~Smartee

P.S. Fun fact: Nav looks HOT when he dresses in red and black, but looks GEEKY when in yellow.

Feel like posting

I guess this is gonna be a random post. Firstly, daddy and mummy's gonna ban me from church soon...they said I'm spending too much time there and not practicing enough piano/studying. Yay. I sound so enthusiastic. I haven't been to church for the past..2 weeks. Feels bad.

Secondly, I'm in love with Demi Lovato's new singles, Get Back ....

I wanna get back to the old days
When the phone would ring
And I knew it was you

...and also Don't Forget

Somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it.
At all.

Deemmiiiii Lovvattttoo!

Thirdly, someone asked me if I'm interested to play keyboard/backing vocals for a band, who does acoustic performances for weddings. Wheeeeeeee... I AM SO INTERESTED (At last I can ditch my one hell of an inactive band...jkjk, chill Pearly, I'm joking. I'd never ditch you guys.).

But obviously...I'm gonna have to fix up my piano, get in tune with my Geography, and get my ass back in church before I consider anything else.

~Smartee ....plans to study hard and win the bet she made with Pearly and Ben. Remember, my dears, free lunch?

85% 85% 85% 85% 85% 85% 85% 85% 85% 85%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just remembered I was...and am tagged by my Baby J

Joey told me I was tagged today at school. If i had remembered, I wouldn't have posted the post below this one. I would had saved that navian post for another day. Pfft. Anyway. The tag.

A = Amelia
B = Ben Goh
C = Christie
D = Desmond, uhh no, I rather choose Dinosaur
E = Elephant
F = Fan Shuk Ye (Celeste, our ketua class)
G = Gan Pearly
H = Hassell Alan Graham (it should be Graham Alan Hassell actually)
I = Icky Bitsy Spider
J = Joey
K = Kai Hong??
L = Aiyo, gotta think who's name start with L. Lau Chee Fai? Lee Yu Kit? Lai Mun Hou? Lye Jia Wei? UGH! All of them!!!
M = Michael Leong
N = Navian
O = Osama bin Laden. Err, I mean, who else starts with O?
P = Pauline Choong
Q = Queen of England
R = Rhea Watson
S = Sara Wong
T = Tiong Chin?
U = Underpants
V = VEEEEEENNNNG SIIIIEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
W = Woo Theng Hong (Peter) No one else has name starting with W O.o
X = Xiao Ran
Y = Yu Kit
Z = Zebras Gone Wild

1. What does A sms you about?
Amelia smses me about nothing, cuz she doesn't sms me. But we talk alot in school to make up for that =D

2. How many siblings do B have?
A big fat egg.



I meant 0...in case you didn't realise.

3. What is C's nickname?
There's a lot. Chris, LKW, CCMYthe latest one is Peachy.

4. How do you get to know D?
I read lots of history books and watch documentaries to get to know D.No pun intended.

5. How desperate is E?
Very desperate in some countries. Its near extinction.

6. How much is F older/younger than you?
She's born in November, I'm in July, both same year. You figure out the math.

7. Name of G's best friend?
Hmm, I don't want to call names, others might be jealous. Why don't you ask her? Her handphone no. is 012-3186680 or she can be found in 2 Keruing in SMKSBS during school hours.

8. How does H know I?
Uhh? How am I suppose to answer that now?

9. What happens if J becomes your enemy?
Nothing will happen. Except that she will ignore me. Except that T will become my enemy too. Except that I will lose a good friend. Except that she will talk about me behind my back? Except that...uhh, you get what I mean.

10. Under what conditions will K and L get married?
Oh this is news! muhahahaha! I can just imagine Kai Hoong marrying all the L's!

11. How many people do you know with M's initials?
I'm not sure of his full initials, other than M.L.-two-more-letters. Wait, I'll ask him this Sunday, then come back and re-reply this. XD

12. Do you enjoy talking on the phone with N?
Yes.

13. Do you think O knows P?
O obviously doesn't know P. P...I don't think P knows O either.

14. How geeky is Q?
I'll visit her one day and ask her.

15. Is R very popular?
She is! She's a main character from one of my stories (I forgot which one). I'll let you read it one day.

16. What happens if S likes you?
She does like me...I think. What happens? Uhh, we become friends?

17. Is T a very random person?
There are many words to describe him, but I don't think random is one of them.

18. How are U and V related?
Uhhh, err, oh no, how am i suppose to answer this without insulting her??..was this question done on purpose?

19. Do you take W as anything other than a friend?
I take him as my favourite guy singer. He's talented!

20. When is the last time you met up with X?
In school this morning.

21. Are Y and Z enemies?
I don't really know, we've never talked about zebras before. Imagine this.

"Yu kit, are you enemies with wild zebras?"

=.=' LAME.

22. Of everyone from A - Z, who do you love the most?
A, C, G, J, N, P, X, Y. There is no "the most". I hate "who/what...the most" questions. Its stupid.

23. Will you betray any of them?
No. Not unless I have to.

24. Have you confessed to anyone from A - Z?
As if you don't know!

Stupid question.



Y.

25. Pass it to people in A - Z who have blogs.
Oh no. The long list.

Am
Ben
Chris
Mike
Pau
Sara
TC
Peter
Xiao Ran
Yu Kit

Change

Its been a month since Navian left SMK Seri Bintang Selatan. Since then, alot has happened. Alot has not happened. And alot has happened after everyone thought it would not happen. But lets not go into that mind-boggling theory. Lets talk about Navian.

It struck me hard yesterday, how much I'd miss him in school. Its being emo, I call it. Kelly didn't bother calling me emo. She just went straight to, "You're unstable." Cool to know I'm unstable. It isn't very nice to be called "unstable". Anyway, basically I was moping around the entire class, conteng-ing the white board with crazy stuff like "I MISS HIM!" or "CHRISTIE + NAVIAN! = ..." and etc. You get the point, don't you?

It struck me that I actually do miss that annoying head peeping in at the door between classes and beckoning with that equally as annoying finger. And then he'll ask dumb questions about Kelly. Or he'll talk about Veng Sie. Or about Pendragon. Or ask, "Are you coming to church on Sunday?". Or he'll just tease when he has nothing else to say. Or when I threaten to clock his head with the nearest chair, then he'll stop teasing. And we'd talk about nothing. Just talk. About nothing. =.="

I've known Navian for as long as the others have known him. But we only became friends in standard 6. So I can say I haven't actually known him for very long.But in that short tiny weeny time, he'd become one of my bestest and closest friend =D.

He never shows his anger. He's the only guy I know who mixes with girls more than guys. He opens conversations on MSN, then doesn't bother to reply after the first 30 seconds.He teases about non-related people. =.='

He can bloody well keep secrets. HE'S THE ONLY FREAKING PERSON ON THIS EARTH WHO KEEPS REMINDING ME ONCE IN A WHILE ABOUT THE STUPID SURVIVOR CAMP INCIDENT LAST YEAR. Even Ben doesn't do that. =.=

Everyone said he's changed (even he himself said, "You don't know me anymore. I've changed), but then again, does it really matter? As long as he knows himself and is happy.

The t-shirt Kelly, Christie, Pearly, me and someone-else-i-forgot gave him for his birthday this year. Almost all the girls signed it.

Saying his goodbye speech to individual SBS-ians. You said you nearly cried. I wonder if that's true, sometimes.

You've got your new friends, I've got mine

You said you've changed, I knew it all the time

The reason doesn't matter, I shoudn't care why

As long as you're who you wanna be, where you wanna be

Then its good enough for me.

~They-Call-Me-Smart-Ass-Who-Isn't-Very-Smart

Be happy

Pauline.

We have been acquaintances since 9. Friends since 11. And immediate best friends since we became friends.

She is exceptionally brilliant in studies...

(Wheee, ada cert!)



...although she is completely blur and clueless most of the time...

...yet also musically talented, to be specific, vocals and piano...

(Oops...isn't it kinda upside down?
Uhhh, look at it sideways. =D)

....occasionally low on confidence and feeling like she's a total failure...

***************************************************************
But yet again, a true friend. One who would be whacking your butt one minute and listening to your problems within the next 30 seconds. The one who would screw and scream at the world, yet laugh like a maniac the next minute. The one who would envy, yet be proud of her friend. The one who scolds and nags like a mother, yet plays like a 6 year old. A goody two shoes. A complete nuisance. A sweet beauty who has half the guys in the school after her. (Exxageration, but close enough =P)

A caring friend...

...who brightens up ANYONE'S day with mad laughter

....and who acts like a total retard sometimes =D

(look at her retarded smile XD)

I know you're feeling down now, lacking confidence and optimism. But if only you would believe in yourself and really test your ability, I honestly believe you would be happier than I am. =D

You can fly, you can reach up and just touch the sky

But if your broken wings just aren't steady

If you feel like you just aren't ready

Fly with me.

~Smart Ass Pants

P.S. So when you're thinking of someone, someone's thinking of you too.

I'm proud to be your friend and I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way, whether actions or words.

Here comes the bride. Congratulations to the soon to be newlyweds

Latest News: 1. I'm playing at a wedding tomorrow. Like in, 13 hours. Do keep me in your prayers and wish me lotsa luck cause' there's always the chance I might mess up.I got the music sheets from Edmund last two weeks, but then didn't practice much. We had one rehearsal today...pretty much fun. Here's what some people said.

Elizabeth: You have to really listen to the atmosphere. When it seems too quite, try to play free flow or any nice song. Pay attention to the mood.

Waaa...if i play at the wrong times, thinking its the right times, aku habis gila.

Aunty Christine: I will give you signal when to start the bridal chorus and wedding march. You just follow my signal.

Remember I lost my glasses? And she's standing 10 yards away. Wayy outta my range of sight without pieces of squarish glass stuck to my eyes.

Yesterday's News: Everything went wrong yesterday (Thursday). Firstly, I got to school. Then the trouble began.

1. 8.00am = Celeste burst into class with news that our class was chosen to perform a skit and choir performance for SBS and SBU's joint merdeka celebration. (even MDK's kinda wayyyyy over)

2. 8.40am = After discussing about the choir stuff with Amelia, Christie and Pearly, we broke the news to the class. Yup, total havoc. They said its very ma fan.

3. 10.30am = After recess, we wanted to start choir practice. Skit actors had already practiced before recess and were still practicing (and fighting alot. I know, cuz alot were crying). Started choir practice. Was pissed at how soft they were singing. Formed groups of 5. Made them battle against each other in volume. The effect was immediate, everyone sang to their maximum volume. I'm creative, right? :P cheh, perasan.

4. 12.40pm = We were just at our climax, singing like crazy. WHEN-SUDDENLY-PEARLY-AND-FARAH-CAME-IN-AND-SAID-THEY-BLOODY-TEACHERS-CANCELLED-OUR-CLASS-PERFORMANCES-AFTER-WE-SKIPPED-WHOLE-DAY-TO-PRACTICE-EVERYONE-WAS-SO-DAMN-MAD-ALL-THE-WASTED-TIME!

5. Then I went home. Went to piano class. I played everything wrong, got lectured by teacher. Got half my theory exercise wrong. Got to church late for worship practice.

6. TO TOP OFF MY CRAZY DAY I LOST MY SPECS SO I COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING THE WHOLE DAY.

7. Then we started practice. And then. Everything became alright XD. I love church. The people there are funny, and its feels great to worship. Kelly, please come on Friday. Slowly, soon, before you know it, you'll be serving too, I'm sure of that. So in the end, my horibly veggie day ended up with the perfect note.

~Smartee is now chatting on MSN and listening to "This Is Me" (and fretting about tomorrow's wedding.

P.S. congratulations to Simon and Mei Ying (or is it Mei Yeng)

P.P.S REMEMBER TO PRAY THAT I DON'T MESS UP TOMORROW!!!

I have so many things to say. But I forgot them all.

Sigh.

Haih.

Sure I'm not bored. Its just...

Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever felt like a friend needs help, and yet you can't help them?
Have you ever felt like you're at the top of the world, and another friend is at the bottom of hell?
Have you ever felt like people envy you?

What are you suppose to do when there's a friend who's confidence has pummelled 60 miles down into the earth?
How can you bear with this feeling when a friend is in desperate emotional need, and there's nothing you can do but pray and hope it gets better for them?
When they are just pure sad, how do you cheer them up?

I don't know

She said she hates me, how good I am, she can never be as good as me. All glum emotion. Truthfully, why would we wanna be like someone else? Each person is different, special, unique in their own way. If someone is better in one thing than someone else, so what? That someone else will be better than that someone in other things.

To four of my bestest friends out there, especially the one with her confidence shattered, remember that no matter how good I am and could be, in other ways, we're all better than each other. We're all different. No two person is the same, just as no two fingerprints are the same. (Christie, is my grammar correct in that sentence?)

Latest News: 1. I'm officially called "Ving Ving" by Joey. UGGGGHH. STUPID NAME. NOOOOO. And I thought Kim Victoria Lee Yoong Chin was bad enough. Oh and I got food poisoning on Wednesday, puked almost nonstop for 2 hours, got to a clinic only to find the last doctor gone and the next doctor NOT IN YETTT. So much for 24 hour clinic? Got a needle stuck in my hip, which stopped the puking, then went home, and slept myself into Thursday afternooon.

Returned to school on friday, only to be greeted by Joey "Ving Ving!!! Why you kena food poisoning??!! Eat too much MENTOS ARRR??"

I gave her the evil eye.

I mean, what else can I do? ICK. MENTOS.

Came home, went online...and some fella had the guts to say "Why kena food poisoning? Eat chicken with dettol arr?" Dry humor... "ohh, i know why, cuz you never eat enough mentos."

Seriously people, the mentos comments are getting old. Save it, people!

~Smartee

P.S. Smartee is chatting with 7 people now and ignoring the fact that Geography is waiting.

Exam RESULTS

Latest News: Lets try keep this short.

1. I nearly failed Geo. I'm serious. Totally. Yeah really, why won't you believe me? YEAH I NEARLY FAILED OKAY?

2. I got 95 for English. Highest in class. I'm proud. At least, I was proud until I found out that Navian got 98. Then I wasn't so proud anymore.

3. I got highest in class (only class dammmmmit) for KH. Yay. At least I was "yay-ing" (BLISS) until my mum said "So what?! You didn't even make 90 for your Sejarah?" Goodbye, bliss.

4. My geography is dragging me down to the pits of..of...uhh, earth's core. (saying pits of hell suddenly doesn't seem so nice). I'm worried. Next exam's in weeks only. Swt. I'm turning into a geek.

Last weekend: I got the emergency call on Friday. And there wasn't any..."Hi, how are you? are you free to talk now?" It was just straight...

..."Vicki!! I can't do my aural!!!! HOW???!!!!"

Me: "Uhh, and I can't do it too. So ..."

Pau: "I dunnoooo!!! I can't!! HOW!?"

Okay, she didn't get the pun. Anyway, I was at her house at 9.30am the next morning and we practiced like gila for nearly five hours straight, only stopping for 5 minutes to drink water and try out the acoustic version of "This is me". Our harmonising is nearly perfect. XD I love it when we sing together. =D

What I wanna throw at a wall: I'm still angry at my dad. He hasn't done anything except compare me with my sister.

"What's your exam marks?"

"Err, I got A's for English, Sej, KH." OBVIOUSLY I TELL GOOD MARKS FIRST!!!!!!

"And the rest?"

"Errrrrrrrr... ... ... B for science?"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY IS YOUR SCIENCE B?!!??!"

"..."

"Did you know when your sister was your age, she'd study CONSISTENLY EVERYDAY! And she used to practice 7 hours of piano everyday when she was playing in the orchestra and having diploma exams! YOU DON"T EVEN MAKE TWO HOURS! IF YOU FAIL THIS DIPLOMA YOU"LL JUST HAVE TO RETAKE IT THE YEAR AFTER AND THAT WILL WASTE ONE YEAR'S PIANO CLASS FEES! AND YOUR STUDIES ARE GOING DOWNHILL. YOU HAVE NOT BEEN STUDYING ENOUGH YOU BETTER MAKE AT LEAST TWO HOURS STUDY AGAIN AND CONCENTRATE ON GETTING BETTER MARKS!!!!"

Oh yeah? Going downhill? And my 94 and 95 just disappeared? Okay, he'll boil over when I tell him about my 52. sobs, so long, computer, i'll probably be banned. Speaking of computers..

YOU"RE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET. AND YOUR PHONE BILL HAS BEEN GOING UP I BET YOU HAVE BEEN SMSING WITH..." it goes on.

Btw, that lecture was just a summary. It actually went on for 45 minutes. I'm angry cause' he loves comparing me with my sister. I mean, I wanna be meeeeee not a replica of my darling sis who's so successful in life right now I have no idea how to tell you.

~Smartee

P.S. Smartee is chatting on MSN because she feels too discouraged to do anything else. Other than moan abuot my 52 of course. =(..

Navian

Latest News: 1. We had Nav's farewell party on Friday. Most of the guys couldn't go, because they had bowling competition. I guess that was fine with them, since they do see him every Saturday at PTM. Pauline, on the other hand, was frantic. Before she had to go home, she ran to hug him, practically tackled him. If he wasn't already sitting down, she would have knocked him to the ground. Then she walked roughly 4 steps away, then made a 180 degree turn and tackled him again. Well, who can blame her? Anyway, it was pretty much a success, I guess our hard work in planning it sort of paid off.

2. Pearly NEVER hugs anyone. Okay, lately she HAS hugged girls. But that's just SO lately. But she actually, hugged Nav on Friday. Christie's reaction was bonkers, and Amelia ripped out my camera and started snapping, I think. :D And during the truth or dare game, Pearly picked the card which said "If you're a guy, piggyback a girl. If you're a girl, find a guy to piggyback you." Everyone went cheering, whee, and she chose Nav. And he really lifted her off the ground. Whee!!!! The ironical part is...guess who wrote that card? Yup, Christie, Am, Kelly and yours truly planned the games...and no one would be mad enough to write a dare so outrageous except for yours truly. Of course, i'm smart enough to keep my mouth shut about that. :D

3. Amelia was kinda left out; she didn't wanna play. Well, Am's the prim and proper...not the type who loses control and throws cream at anyone and everyone (unlike me). She took my camera anyway, and snapped away. It wasn't very good photography, but I appreciate her efforts. :D

Lightbulbs: 1. I realised that I really did seem emo on Nav's party. Well people, I can assure you, I wasn't. Maybe its the events of the past few days (==' more like weeks), that I was just suddenly hit by exhaustion? Life's too fast for me nowsadays...

What I wanna throw at a wall: 1. I'm angry at my dad. Since the school holidays started I haven't been doing anything but classical piano, studying, homework and swimming. Even when I do go online, I load windows player with a hundred songs, then start cleaning my room (which is equal to a nuclear disaster area). Today's like the first time I'm online since the last post of my blog. And my dad's going all "Vicki...go practice your piano...go study."...go this go that go everything except online-ing. I'm a bit exasperated. I just finished more than 3 freaking hours on the piano nonstop classical, playing all my big pieces ugh and now how the heck would i have the concentration to study. Playing neopets online would be better than studying now. I'm totally burned. See what I mean by life moving too fast?

2. I'm angry at the fact that Lee Chong Wei lost. Boo...and I thought M'sia was FINALLY going to get a gold medal. I watched the entire match hugging my knees and with my knees stuck in my throat...so basically by the time i was done watching, my face was blue. or whatever colour it should be when there's lack of blood. Bottom line is, he lost...badly. I wanna cry. =( See the gold medal flying away. WAAAA.

I'm inquisitive: 1. Has anyone watch the video "Ready to fly" by Amy Pearson. Woooo, she looks and sounds like Celine Dion and they're using this video for the Olympics. :D

Signing off,
~Smartee

P.S. Smartee is currently playing neop- uhh, games. :D

Exams

Latest News: 1. Exams are up. I haven't been studying my head off like total madness, but I HAVE been studying. And all my friends (especially *cough PAU!) have been rather irritatingly poking fire, "Ooohhh! Since when does VICKI study?" and giving me that look of surprise. Ick, a bit annoying, but not to say I can blame them. I mean, Vicki HAS built up a pretty rep of "i-am-the-type-of-person-who-does-not-study" but come on...ick.

Anyway, Sejarah and KH's today, i did Sej in a 40 minutes and slept away after that and finished KH in 20 min...snoring away until after the teacher took my paper. Woke up and started panicking about where my paper was...until someone told me teacher had collected it while i was busy dreaming about...AAA batteries. Yeah, i dreamed about AAA bateries. Mad.

2. Due to my almost hobby of burying my nose...in fact, burying my entire head in textbooks, i have abandoned my other hobby of flashing my face 2 inches from the computer screen with the internet online. until now. :D Not that I can't resist technology temptation...its just that I feel like blogging. XD. No, really...its not an excuse.

3. People from 2 Jati and 2 Meranti bocor to Nav about his surprise farewell party. I'm so mad at these people, because our entire plan was to surprise Nav. Well, apparently our entire plan is gonna have to be changed. Screw. Oops. Christie said I'm not allowed to screw anyone anymore. XD No more screwing. Scout's honour. XDXD

Lightbulbs: 1. I realised that I have been abandoning my classical piano for pop, country and singing. I won the charity competition and the competitors there were of diploma grade or higher. I should have been proud. Well yeah, I am, but I don't feel the same elation I felt when I won the singing competition in church. Singing seems to be pushing classical piano away bit by bit everyday. I'm worrying about that 'cause exam's in Dec...and this ain't no silly grades anymore. This is the professional deal. HELP.

Today's Flashbacks: 1. I remembered the Genting trip in 2006. How Navian walked right into a mirror. How Christie and I laughed like idiots at him.

2. I remembered how I used to be a total mouse in school. Yeah...mouse. Well, its not like i'm the social queen now. But i am standing out now, rather than always hiding behind friends like last time.

What I Wanna Throw At A Wall: 1. I'm angry about you freaks who keep asking me the same questions. Especially those I call close friends. How many freaking times must I say, "No, I'm not jealous. No, I don't care. No, I'm fine. No, I'm seriously not lying."

2. I'm angry about the teasing. I had enough of teasing. SHUT UP PEOPLE. If this happened last year, it would be so flattered. But right now, I'm really too busy to care, I had enough of this kind of thing and I really wouldn't care about what you all say, except that some of you like to say it right in my ear. To summarise it, its annoying.

Inquisitive Questions: 1. Who has watched Camp Rock? Its a good show which I can say I really really relate to.

Signing off,
Seluar Pandai.

P.S. Smartee is currently studying Geography. (last minute study :P)

This. Is. Freaking. ME. Out.

Me! its freaking ME out! And I NEVER freak out. At least... not to the point where I'm so blur I dunno what to do.

SHE is SO smart. Suka-suka tak nak talk to me in school. I still remember the last thing I said to her. "Wei...don't fight with Joey anymore la. Just get over it and be friends again la...pls...". AND THEN...after that she started ignoring me. For FOUR DAYS. FOUR! This is dastardly unbelievably incredibly stupid.

And guess what happened next? She SMSED me bout something that we were talking about before she started this I-like-to-ignore-vicki-just-for-the-fun-of- it game. LIKE SHE EXPECTED ME TO REPLY.

AND GUESS WHAT? I AM SO UNBELIVABLY MAD RIGHT NOW. So SHE can stop talking and start talking to me WHENEVER SHE LIKES. AND I JUST HAVE TO TAG ALONG??!!??

Well i'm SORRY (snickers) but NO. You-can-find-someone-else-I'm-sick-of-playing-games-with-you-and-your-selfish-soul-and-at-this-moment-i'm-feeling-very-mean. I'm SICK of having to WORK SO HARD to keep this BLOODY FRIENDSHIP when half of all you do when we talk is COMPLAIN about ME not PAYING YOU ENOUGH ATTENTION. Just in case you didn't realise, maybe friendship is a two way thing?! UGH.


*half an hour later*

And that was suppose to be the end of the post..but for some reason, I just couldn't post it. Why? Because I opened up My Documents...and the first thing that caught my eye was the file of the song I wrote using Ben's bass. And of course...everytime I sing that song it just overwhelms me...so obviously I opened that file...skimmed my eyes over the lyrics.

UGH. Now I feel so bad that half an hour ago I had ranted out the first half of this post...all negative feelings about her. And I just feel so bad...but I don't want to delete the first half of this post either...because that was really what I felt about her. Frustration. Anger. Ugh-ness. Most of all, confusion. And alot of anger. And that's the last thing I need to feel.

Sigh...

I don't deserve you, Lord
I don't fool you, look, what it took
All the years I could have known you but I didn't want to
But I could sing to you all my days
Write out phrases of praise
All creation someday will fall to you
And they'll know they don't deserve you

No relation to what I ranted, really. But it just depicts my life and the last thing I wanna do is hate someone. Sigh. Haih.

I've been doing alot of that lately. Sigh. haih. HAIH. SIGH>

See what i mean?

~Seluar Pandai.. you should be glad i didn't say seluar dalam pandai

Random things

As usual...I have a million things to say...so there's no point posting a topic. I ALWAYS stray. So first things first, I've never felt this stressed. Drowned. Suffocated. Pressured. Take your pick.

Anyway, lets start with last saturday. Semi finals of that competition was at 2.30pm..I came early, but they rescheduled it early, so I played early. But I got into the finals. Yay :D I didn't expect to though, probably cuz I made 114499 mistakes. Then rushed to church, zoomed in at 3.55pm. Seriously, I love to rush...its fun moving all the time. That way, you never have time to think about your problems. You can't do a thing other than REACT. Don't I love talking half explained gibberish.

Sunday, I served at church...it made me..happy. Teen class made me...happier, because everything's just...unexplainably right.

Monday, I flunked through school...slept through all my classes as usual, fought with my friends, made up with them, fought more, tried to force Nav to pay up his debt...unsuccessfuly, searched 2 floors 4 times for Peter (because Joey wanted to give him his bday pressie), complained to everyone about everything, and school ended. Stayed back for jamming with Kelly, Christie, Kristy and Mr Goh Sheng An...for the first time, Mr Goh didn't "fong fei kei".

Recorded the song acapella on Christie's MP3, its sound quality is amazing. Christie left. Then Kristy. Then Kelly had to leave..so I teman her to front gate, chit chat until she left...then went back to class where we were jamming, only to find it invaded by guys. Oh, and Wen Hao was there. Except that I didn't know it was Wen Hao...until he left, then i asked TC "who's that fella?" and he was like "wen hao?" ...forget my reaction.

Messed around with Ben's bass...tried to write a song using it. Succeeded. Go on, i'm waiting for your compliment. Cheh...i'm so lame. Messed more with ben's bass while he stared at the ceiling, decided to 'tune' it. Played "guess the note" games with ben using the bass. I know. Lame.

Went home. Edited the song.

Tuesday/today...lost my patience with one friends...lost my temper with another two. I'm furious nowsadays. Maybe its cuz i'm always bertolak-ansuring with everyone: I'M SICK OF IT. Came home to find an email with the recording of the acapella song Christie sent. I sounded SO BAD in the recording...but the ending was funny. Right, kelly?

Now...just taken a bath, am suppose to be doing homework, but i"m feeling so burnt out. I can't keep up with the pace of life = bad time management. DIdn't practice piano today. Didn't bang drums. Haven't chosen the song I wanna sing on Saturday's guest performance. Havn'et practiced my competition song. haven't finished homework. Haven't finished blogging.

Finished, actually. *yawn*

I msn-ed with someone who made me happy :D. I'm not stressed anymore XD

~Aku Punya Nama Ialah Seluar Pandai? Nevermind, english is fine...smart pants...

When I came out of that bloody dark hole...

... also known as my mum's womb.

ick. disgusting.

One more hour to my birthday...and why the heck do I feel so glum?

I ought to be doing my head off homework...flexing my finger muscles hard on the pen....not relaxing them here but typing on this silly comp.

Back to the question. Why do I feel so upset. Its an hour to my birthday! Why am I so...down?

Blast that. Lets divert. I know two guys. At least, I thought I knew them. Now I feel like I don't know one of them. Like he's a total stranger. Last time he used to be really cool...but now its just drab. Its just weird. He's...different.

And the other guy...is just pure amazing. From an obnoxious lil kid...practically overnight transformed into an awesome great guy. LITERALLY. He's freaking annoying last time. I HATED him. But now its like, ..oh forget it, I can't explain. I don't know what to make of my life...why does things have to be so confusing? Oh..and..I DO NOT have a crush, just telling people before they start speculating. Its just that I just suddenly thought of these two people and how things could be so confusing about them.

Another happy thing that happened lately is...nothing actually...I just wrote a new song...*yawn* and its nothing new, except that I really really put alot of thought and heart into it. I took days to write the first 4 drafts (yes, you saw that...I said FOUR drafts) ...and the finally perfected it by rewriting it within 5 minutes. Total new version. Kinda silly, no? Tried it out on the piano, but it sounds wayy off rubbish. I need a guitar with this...ada orang nak volunteer ke tak?

And ANOTHER happy thing is...I FINALLY GOT BACK INTO WRITING AGAIN. Started 3 new stories...and almost completed one of my old ones. :D Dedicated, no? ...well, not really.

And (yes, and again) today...a few minutes ago actually, someone somewhat shared a teeny bit of his experience with God with me. I hear people talk about how great God is all the time... and it never fails to amaze me how He can touch so many lives. All the people out there who have been baptised with fire, should know what I mean.

And lastly...back to homework...goodbye for now.

~My Name Is ... Smart Pants. Yes, That's My Name.

Ello boss, uhh, blog, lama aku tak jumpa kau.

Hmm, I've abandoned my blog for more than three weeks. Time to chit chat with it again. Hmm, what's up in my life?

Last thursday, ah yes, that was the first time I cried at school in like, a million years. Trust me, I never cry in school. But then again, that was the first time I got into a huge fight with one of my best friends in a billion years. Well, its not like I bawled my eyes out or anything...the tears just dripped...like a leaky tap. drip, drop, drip, drop. Okayy, not funny I know, dry humor. It wasn't that funny at that time either. And according to pearly, everyone was like "why's vicki crying??" what happened?" ...how embarrassing. I swear I will never cry again in school! Scout's honour!!!!

Nextly...(whattheheck was that)..I won again on Saturday! MUHAHAHA!!! It was the church's singing competition...which turn out to be freaking pretty tough. I didn't expect thattt high a level. Sue anne was like "she's gonna blast them away!" but I didn't think she meant it. Mike was like "Must have confidence that you can win again!".....lol i wish...and that wish came true. I don't think i ever had so much fun in my life...that night rocked! Right, nav? There was also great praise & worship, the worship team did an awesome job and all the youth (and non-youth :P) were so energetic that night. And yadda yadda...so many fun activities, too many to list out.

And then there was Sunday's dinner. Only about 5 of my friends turned up though, but we still had a blast. Made pauline sing like mad on that day (teeehee) and then we had cake fight. Tossed cream around. Smacked Angelo with cream more than 5 times. Tried to get Kelly near the chocolate cream but she's too witty. Didn't wanna go near Sin Mun cuz she threatened to chuck green tea at me if I came within a radius of 4 metres.

And of course...lastly...there's my sister. She came back last Wednesday. Man, I didn't realise how much I missed her until I saw her there. In real person.

With her boyfriend. XD

Damn leng chai, and very very very tall. He kinda intimidates me...maybe because half the time I have no idea what he's saying due to his British accent. Oh yeah, he's British. Puan Nor Asiah would have a heart attack if she finds out my sister's dating a "anak orang penjajah". I have totally no idea what my sejarah teacher has against British people. I mean, get real, if not for...uhh, nevermind. lets not go into the political rubbis- i mean, issues. Anyway, back on topic, I really miss my sister. She left this morning for London again. Haih...I promise I'm going to see her end of this year. Hmm, since my parents aren't going...I'd be flying alone. Which is so damn fun. Unless ada kawan nak teman aku?? Accomodation provided :D. Siapa nak datang? If not lonely la...travel alone no syok...travel with parents ALSO no syok.

Guess that's all for now.

Life's great.

Byeee.

~Aja Singing Pants

Koalas have lovely backsides

The trip to Perth, Australia was a bomb!!!!

Well, it wasn't all that fun, but definitely way fun-ner than boring ol' lovely hot sickening Malaysia. KL. Which has stupid signboards that say "Haha! You're late for work!" ..and lame stuff like that.

First day and second day was pretty boring, we just walked around here, there, everywhere, back to here, then there...went on a cruise, which wasn't interesting after the first few minutes. yeah, honest. All i saw was water. No dolphins, no fishes. Just water. Everyday typical water. Which you can actually find in a bathtub. Or the sink for that matter..

Day 3: Went to the Pinnacles!!!! Its this desert/dessert (how do you spell it? desert or dessert???...ah, whatever) with these whatever rocks...limestones. Its hard to explain how they're formed but whatever. Anyway, it was really cool, we had sand surfing! Someone from church once said my mum looked like 15 years old again, when she was doing the children church cheer, hmm, i forgot who. But yeah, she really enjoyed the sand surfing; she was like a kid again. Hehe, guess i'm really happy for her?

After that, headed over to the Wildlife-some-name-or-other Park, lovely koalas and wombats there. I took lots of pictures, but those animals are just sooo camera shy! So basically, whatever I caught on cam was furry backsides and lovely paws. moving on....i fed (and hugged!! alot!!) kangaroos...those ninnies drooled all over my hand till their saliva froze and my hands were so numbed with cold, I could barely unzip my pants to relieve myself later when we went for toilet breaks but nevermind...that's another story.

On the fourth and last day, we headed over to a whats-its-name-sort-of-aquarium...uhh, i think it was a tunnel that drives right into the southern perth sea or something like that. anyway, we got to see sharks and stingrays and all the whatnot. seriously, it was freaking not-that-nice at first. I mean, those sharks love pressing their nose against the glass...so it ain't that nice when you realise you're 6 inches away from a 8 foot long shark, separated by a wall of glass. not that cool, eh?

And those stingrays, its freaky when they swim overhead...i mean come on...5 metres long and 3 metres wide. its maddeningly big. but magnificently so. even the sharks were so...elegant. Amelia would have been jealous of them. Oh, and we were allowed to go snorkelling and scuba diving in there...I was kinda interested...but kinda nervous as well, couldn't make up my mind whether i wanted to play water sports with sharks that are twice my height (or length, in this case) or not. But then those tour guides said its for people age 16 and above. Decision made for me. I mean, i ain't 16 +, am I?

And...that was pretty much it...well, i left out a lot of details (example: how many km i walked in one day, how i got lost twice all in the same day, how many times I changed my socks a day, how good the lobsters were, and all that yadda yadda) but its nearing midnight, and I ain't in the mood for talking about happy holidays.

After all.

I aint' in a happy mood now, though i'm feeling relatively better now that I've chatted with two people about it.

Haih. I don't understand. I wish I could ask God why. And I wish he would give me a reply. A sensible one. Maybe I should ask God? Or maybe I should write a formal letter and mail it to heaven's letter box? Or seeing today's tech, I should just send an email over? And what's the email address? god@hotmail.com? Haih, sometimes prayer is so hard to do..sometimes talking to god is so hard..i guess the problem's me...after all...He's always there...its just whether I wanna listen or not.




SCREW THE WORLD ANYWAY. SCREW AUGUST. SCREW SMK-WHATEVER-CEMPAKA. SCREW NAVIAN. SCREW HOW THINGS WORK OUT. SCREW THE SCREWS OF MY LOVELY ROUND HEAD.

What a lovely way to end my vacation.

Screw.


nighty night,
~aja screwing pants

From dunno-what-date to dunno-what-date...

I'm going to Australia! Tada!

Will be home on friday...morning. Like..early in the morning.

Anyway, gotta ciao, haven't even packed my bag and i'm leaving in four hours.

tata, pray that i don't die on the way there...or on the way back, for that matter. airplanes crash sometimes, ya know?

Show me the way

What do you do when you have PROBLEMS like

1. Peer pressure
2. Family problems
3. Failure in studies
4. Success that burdens you with...
...more peer pressure (5)
6. a brother who is not close to you
7. a sister who is 3000 miles away
8. peer pressure
9. peer pressure
10. a stupid private blog which is exactly what it is: a stupid private blog. No pun intended. Seriously.

My main current difficulties are 1, 4, 5, 8 and 9. The story is basically simple.

So-so wants me to be constantly with her while so-and-so wants me to talk to her while two other so-so's talk about me behind my back because i ignore them having to deal with so-so and so-and-so. then all of a sudden, both so-so and so-and-so ditches me then i'm left alone (which i honestly don't mind, for a change) but then somebody comes and talks non stop about boys to me, irritating me all the way to heaven and hell, then halfway through, so-so decides she wants my attention so she pesters me until she has my 100% undivided attention BUT THEN when i say hi to so-and-so, she sulks and ignores me with the excuse that i have been ignoring her while i was talking to so-so. I honestly enjoy talking to the other two so-so's but most of the time I don't get the chance to.

*so-so and so-and-so are two different people.
*the other so-so's are two different people from so-so and I'll name them so-so 1 and so-so 2.
*somebody is also a person
*all in there are five people i mentioned.
*the story above refers to problem number 1, 8 and 9.

Continuation:

Out of those five people, three of them talks about so-so 1 behind her back, complaining, gossiping, blah-blahing.

Out of those five people, four of them dislikes so-so at certain times. really dislike. In fact, I'm one of the few that try to stand up for her. I'm not putting myself high up, just stating a fact.

Out of those five people, i realise that somebody barely has friends at all, and we barely have anything in common, which is why she blabs nonstop about boys to me, and nothing else.

Out of those five people, one has family problems alike mine, another has peer pressure alike me, one has romance problems, unlike me (...what?), one has the entire world against her, quite unlike me (hopefully), and the last has...nearly the whole world against her.

Please. What do I do with my five favourite friends. And that was a statement, not a question. But i don't mind you treating it as a question. Post answers in the comments.

Now, lets move on to problem 4 and 5.

She's jealous. I know it. Its obvious. Why? ...because she shows it. But I don't blame her, honestly. I feel that everytime she's with me, she tries to accentuate her good points, as though shoving them in my face. she'll try to show everyone around us that she's good, she can do stuff. I had...and have a decent amount of success, particularly in the music field, considering my age and living environment. And i'm truly thankful, grateful and happy about that. What I can't help being saddened by is my peers. Most of them honestly support me to the best they can. But some are jealous, and though they...she, in particular...are happy for me, they show obvious jealousy. Which is directed to me. Which makes me very unhappy. I don't think i'm the type of person who tries to boast and show talent or anything. But some of my friends do, particularly when in the presence of adults such as teachers.

They do not show of directly, but indirectly make a snide remarks here and there about me, and a praising remark about themselves. I...do not approve or like it of course, but i understand why they do so. Not that it stops them from hurting me.

Insecurity. Competition.

I feel these are the two main factors. Those who feel insecure about themselves, feeling they are less than expected, and less successful than their peers will tend to try to demonstrate show their upper skills and points, maybe because they know they are not quite good enough YET, but want to be, so they give a big show that they ARE. Second factor: competition...among friends...peers. No one likes to feel as though they are second after their best friend. Need i explain more?

Haih, everyone wants to be the top. But when you are at the top and there's friends...best friends who are jealous of you, its not a nice feeling. Suddenly, whatever success you have feels like a burden to you. So which one is more important to me? Friends? Or success?

Normally a question like that will get a total godly untruthful lame lie, which barely passes as an excuse of an answer.

But in this situation...you're good in singing and piano-ing (yeah i did that on purpose), you won the lousyfornothing school competition, you write decent songs easily, you understand chords and blah blah, you're talented in this that this that and so on so forth. and just cuz a friends jealous, would you give up all that? TRUTHFULLY.

obviously. No. Which bring me back to the first question. Friends or interests/success?

Hehe, my answer is. *drumroll*

GOD.

Which brings me to my next point. I feel like i've been having a growth spurt spiritually. Imagine that everytime you learn something new about God, you grow one day old. I'm probably a few years old, spiritually...counting it in that way. I...LOVE...god, church and everything in it. Its one of the few things that keeps me from screaming out loud at the end of the day just cuz I had a little blooper with jealousy. And family. Well, nobody's life is perfect as mike and a million other ...TEN MILLION other people say.

And in my imperfect life with perfect dreams, I, the small short tiny 14 year old mousy girl intend to make the best of it. Regardless of ...

1. Peer pressure
2. Family problems
3. WHATEVER THAT DARES TO STAND IN MY WAY....what a unfeminine statement...

Signing off after a long blah on her life,

~Asian Pants Smart.