This. Is. Freaking. ME. Out.

Me! its freaking ME out! And I NEVER freak out. At least... not to the point where I'm so blur I dunno what to do.

SHE is SO smart. Suka-suka tak nak talk to me in school. I still remember the last thing I said to her. "Wei...don't fight with Joey anymore la. Just get over it and be friends again la...pls...". AND THEN...after that she started ignoring me. For FOUR DAYS. FOUR! This is dastardly unbelievably incredibly stupid.

And guess what happened next? She SMSED me bout something that we were talking about before she started this I-like-to-ignore-vicki-just-for-the-fun-of- it game. LIKE SHE EXPECTED ME TO REPLY.

AND GUESS WHAT? I AM SO UNBELIVABLY MAD RIGHT NOW. So SHE can stop talking and start talking to me WHENEVER SHE LIKES. AND I JUST HAVE TO TAG ALONG??!!??

Well i'm SORRY (snickers) but NO. You-can-find-someone-else-I'm-sick-of-playing-games-with-you-and-your-selfish-soul-and-at-this-moment-i'm-feeling-very-mean. I'm SICK of having to WORK SO HARD to keep this BLOODY FRIENDSHIP when half of all you do when we talk is COMPLAIN about ME not PAYING YOU ENOUGH ATTENTION. Just in case you didn't realise, maybe friendship is a two way thing?! UGH.


*half an hour later*

And that was suppose to be the end of the post..but for some reason, I just couldn't post it. Why? Because I opened up My Documents...and the first thing that caught my eye was the file of the song I wrote using Ben's bass. And of course...everytime I sing that song it just overwhelms me...so obviously I opened that file...skimmed my eyes over the lyrics.

UGH. Now I feel so bad that half an hour ago I had ranted out the first half of this post...all negative feelings about her. And I just feel so bad...but I don't want to delete the first half of this post either...because that was really what I felt about her. Frustration. Anger. Ugh-ness. Most of all, confusion. And alot of anger. And that's the last thing I need to feel.

Sigh...

I don't deserve you, Lord
I don't fool you, look, what it took
All the years I could have known you but I didn't want to
But I could sing to you all my days
Write out phrases of praise
All creation someday will fall to you
And they'll know they don't deserve you

No relation to what I ranted, really. But it just depicts my life and the last thing I wanna do is hate someone. Sigh. Haih.

I've been doing alot of that lately. Sigh. haih. HAIH. SIGH>

See what i mean?

~Seluar Pandai.. you should be glad i didn't say seluar dalam pandai