Intense

Aloha.

I'm back.

And I've been gone so long that I'm not really sure how to write here anymore.

So many emotions and thoughts cramped up in my little brain that I need to purge out. Sometimes I wish I could just milo-dispense them all out. Inner joke. Nevermind that.Long story short, as that dratted SucksPM draws closer, its getting a little harder each day to reach for my daily dose of sanity.

Damn I need to study.

Finding your better half = losing yourself

Real or not real?

I used to think... not real. Yeah sure, people talk ahelluvalot about that person and people whom I don't even really kinda sorta pretend to know start asking me random questions about him when we both know I'm not gonna answer truthfully and they don't care either way.

"Oi Vicki, how's *inserthisname*?"

"*says the first thing that comes to mind*"

Thanks for wasting 6 seconds of my life, peep.

Seriously, stop asking for the sake of asking. Disclaimer: This is only targetted to a certain select group of people who are hell bent on asking stupid questions that nobody will care to answer.
To people who actually give a shyt, TYVMYTIMAWW&NS (and all my blog readers are gonna start asking me wtf this is. ^^)

Anyway, back to the line in pink. I'm starting to think its kinda true. In a way.

You don't lose yourself. (Well at least I didn't..) But you don't hold on to your original identity altogether either. Maybe that was what threw me off balance in the beginning. Having to think and proactively consider someone else's feelings in every major decision I make was not what I signed up for. Because I wasn't used to not belonging to me and only me.

And lets just face it. Its not like we know...knew...each other like the back of our palm...hand...which one is it...damn my english....metacarpals.

I remember anonymous asked me a few months ago.

"So Vicki, how does it feel to finally be in a real relationship?"

And I answered...

...I didn't know how to answer so I threw the question back at her.

I think I have an answer already though.

Leowlipop told me today that she felt very relieved that she doesn't have a better half, after seeing all her friends die partially (haha that's like ionising partially omg whats wrong with me) from their relationships.
I didn't really know what to say to that, because its justified. Its like quarrel-then-break-up-or-no-quarrel-but-still-break-up season these past few months.

And with that...my blogging bug died. So I might as well just sign off.

~Smarteepants

IS. BACK.

P.anSwer. It feels like a blessing and a curse at times. So much pleasure with such pain. Sometimes it hurts like shyt...and yet I know I won't let it go. If I had to use one word to describe it, it'd be...

Intense.

That one word doesn't sum up everything about us, but it sure says alot.
There are these times when I just feel like curling up into a ball and bawl my eyes out.

And there are these times when I feel lightheaded from the level of intensity.

And then there are the moments where I ride that roller coaster rush of emotion.

But most times, all I know is I'm just happy where I am. =) And I'm not scared anymore.

P.P.S. There's two things on my mind. One, after SucksPM. Two, before SucksPM. Damn.

P.P.P.S. Gwen Lee, move on...and those who are worth it will move together with you.

P.P.P.P.S. NG MING YANG MUST NOW UPDATE HIS BLOG.