Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever felt like a friend needs help, and yet you can't help them?
Have you ever felt like you're at the top of the world, and another friend is at the bottom of hell?
Have you ever felt like people envy you?

What are you suppose to do when there's a friend who's confidence has pummelled 60 miles down into the earth?
How can you bear with this feeling when a friend is in desperate emotional need, and there's nothing you can do but pray and hope it gets better for them?
When they are just pure sad, how do you cheer them up?

I don't know

She said she hates me, how good I am, she can never be as good as me. All glum emotion. Truthfully, why would we wanna be like someone else? Each person is different, special, unique in their own way. If someone is better in one thing than someone else, so what? That someone else will be better than that someone in other things.

To four of my bestest friends out there, especially the one with her confidence shattered, remember that no matter how good I am and could be, in other ways, we're all better than each other. We're all different. No two person is the same, just as no two fingerprints are the same. (Christie, is my grammar correct in that sentence?)

Latest News: 1. I'm officially called "Ving Ving" by Joey. UGGGGHH. STUPID NAME. NOOOOO. And I thought Kim Victoria Lee Yoong Chin was bad enough. Oh and I got food poisoning on Wednesday, puked almost nonstop for 2 hours, got to a clinic only to find the last doctor gone and the next doctor NOT IN YETTT. So much for 24 hour clinic? Got a needle stuck in my hip, which stopped the puking, then went home, and slept myself into Thursday afternooon.

Returned to school on friday, only to be greeted by Joey "Ving Ving!!! Why you kena food poisoning??!! Eat too much MENTOS ARRR??"

I gave her the evil eye.

I mean, what else can I do? ICK. MENTOS.

Came home, went online...and some fella had the guts to say "Why kena food poisoning? Eat chicken with dettol arr?" Dry humor... "ohh, i know why, cuz you never eat enough mentos."

Seriously people, the mentos comments are getting old. Save it, people!

~Smartee

P.S. Smartee is chatting with 7 people now and ignoring the fact that Geography is waiting.

Exam RESULTS

Latest News: Lets try keep this short.

1. I nearly failed Geo. I'm serious. Totally. Yeah really, why won't you believe me? YEAH I NEARLY FAILED OKAY?

2. I got 95 for English. Highest in class. I'm proud. At least, I was proud until I found out that Navian got 98. Then I wasn't so proud anymore.

3. I got highest in class (only class dammmmmit) for KH. Yay. At least I was "yay-ing" (BLISS) until my mum said "So what?! You didn't even make 90 for your Sejarah?" Goodbye, bliss.

4. My geography is dragging me down to the pits of..of...uhh, earth's core. (saying pits of hell suddenly doesn't seem so nice). I'm worried. Next exam's in weeks only. Swt. I'm turning into a geek.

Last weekend: I got the emergency call on Friday. And there wasn't any..."Hi, how are you? are you free to talk now?" It was just straight...

..."Vicki!! I can't do my aural!!!! HOW???!!!!"

Me: "Uhh, and I can't do it too. So ..."

Pau: "I dunnoooo!!! I can't!! HOW!?"

Okay, she didn't get the pun. Anyway, I was at her house at 9.30am the next morning and we practiced like gila for nearly five hours straight, only stopping for 5 minutes to drink water and try out the acoustic version of "This is me". Our harmonising is nearly perfect. XD I love it when we sing together. =D

What I wanna throw at a wall: I'm still angry at my dad. He hasn't done anything except compare me with my sister.

"What's your exam marks?"

"Err, I got A's for English, Sej, KH." OBVIOUSLY I TELL GOOD MARKS FIRST!!!!!!

"And the rest?"

"Errrrrrrrr... ... ... B for science?"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY IS YOUR SCIENCE B?!!??!"

"..."

"Did you know when your sister was your age, she'd study CONSISTENLY EVERYDAY! And she used to practice 7 hours of piano everyday when she was playing in the orchestra and having diploma exams! YOU DON"T EVEN MAKE TWO HOURS! IF YOU FAIL THIS DIPLOMA YOU"LL JUST HAVE TO RETAKE IT THE YEAR AFTER AND THAT WILL WASTE ONE YEAR'S PIANO CLASS FEES! AND YOUR STUDIES ARE GOING DOWNHILL. YOU HAVE NOT BEEN STUDYING ENOUGH YOU BETTER MAKE AT LEAST TWO HOURS STUDY AGAIN AND CONCENTRATE ON GETTING BETTER MARKS!!!!"

Oh yeah? Going downhill? And my 94 and 95 just disappeared? Okay, he'll boil over when I tell him about my 52. sobs, so long, computer, i'll probably be banned. Speaking of computers..

YOU"RE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET. AND YOUR PHONE BILL HAS BEEN GOING UP I BET YOU HAVE BEEN SMSING WITH..." it goes on.

Btw, that lecture was just a summary. It actually went on for 45 minutes. I'm angry cause' he loves comparing me with my sister. I mean, I wanna be meeeeee not a replica of my darling sis who's so successful in life right now I have no idea how to tell you.

~Smartee

P.S. Smartee is chatting on MSN because she feels too discouraged to do anything else. Other than moan abuot my 52 of course. =(..

Navian

Latest News: 1. We had Nav's farewell party on Friday. Most of the guys couldn't go, because they had bowling competition. I guess that was fine with them, since they do see him every Saturday at PTM. Pauline, on the other hand, was frantic. Before she had to go home, she ran to hug him, practically tackled him. If he wasn't already sitting down, she would have knocked him to the ground. Then she walked roughly 4 steps away, then made a 180 degree turn and tackled him again. Well, who can blame her? Anyway, it was pretty much a success, I guess our hard work in planning it sort of paid off.

2. Pearly NEVER hugs anyone. Okay, lately she HAS hugged girls. But that's just SO lately. But she actually, hugged Nav on Friday. Christie's reaction was bonkers, and Amelia ripped out my camera and started snapping, I think. :D And during the truth or dare game, Pearly picked the card which said "If you're a guy, piggyback a girl. If you're a girl, find a guy to piggyback you." Everyone went cheering, whee, and she chose Nav. And he really lifted her off the ground. Whee!!!! The ironical part is...guess who wrote that card? Yup, Christie, Am, Kelly and yours truly planned the games...and no one would be mad enough to write a dare so outrageous except for yours truly. Of course, i'm smart enough to keep my mouth shut about that. :D

3. Amelia was kinda left out; she didn't wanna play. Well, Am's the prim and proper...not the type who loses control and throws cream at anyone and everyone (unlike me). She took my camera anyway, and snapped away. It wasn't very good photography, but I appreciate her efforts. :D

Lightbulbs: 1. I realised that I really did seem emo on Nav's party. Well people, I can assure you, I wasn't. Maybe its the events of the past few days (==' more like weeks), that I was just suddenly hit by exhaustion? Life's too fast for me nowsadays...

What I wanna throw at a wall: 1. I'm angry at my dad. Since the school holidays started I haven't been doing anything but classical piano, studying, homework and swimming. Even when I do go online, I load windows player with a hundred songs, then start cleaning my room (which is equal to a nuclear disaster area). Today's like the first time I'm online since the last post of my blog. And my dad's going all "Vicki...go practice your piano...go study."...go this go that go everything except online-ing. I'm a bit exasperated. I just finished more than 3 freaking hours on the piano nonstop classical, playing all my big pieces ugh and now how the heck would i have the concentration to study. Playing neopets online would be better than studying now. I'm totally burned. See what I mean by life moving too fast?

2. I'm angry at the fact that Lee Chong Wei lost. Boo...and I thought M'sia was FINALLY going to get a gold medal. I watched the entire match hugging my knees and with my knees stuck in my throat...so basically by the time i was done watching, my face was blue. or whatever colour it should be when there's lack of blood. Bottom line is, he lost...badly. I wanna cry. =( See the gold medal flying away. WAAAA.

I'm inquisitive: 1. Has anyone watch the video "Ready to fly" by Amy Pearson. Woooo, she looks and sounds like Celine Dion and they're using this video for the Olympics. :D

Signing off,
~Smartee

P.S. Smartee is currently playing neop- uhh, games. :D

Exams

Latest News: 1. Exams are up. I haven't been studying my head off like total madness, but I HAVE been studying. And all my friends (especially *cough PAU!) have been rather irritatingly poking fire, "Ooohhh! Since when does VICKI study?" and giving me that look of surprise. Ick, a bit annoying, but not to say I can blame them. I mean, Vicki HAS built up a pretty rep of "i-am-the-type-of-person-who-does-not-study" but come on...ick.

Anyway, Sejarah and KH's today, i did Sej in a 40 minutes and slept away after that and finished KH in 20 min...snoring away until after the teacher took my paper. Woke up and started panicking about where my paper was...until someone told me teacher had collected it while i was busy dreaming about...AAA batteries. Yeah, i dreamed about AAA bateries. Mad.

2. Due to my almost hobby of burying my nose...in fact, burying my entire head in textbooks, i have abandoned my other hobby of flashing my face 2 inches from the computer screen with the internet online. until now. :D Not that I can't resist technology temptation...its just that I feel like blogging. XD. No, really...its not an excuse.

3. People from 2 Jati and 2 Meranti bocor to Nav about his surprise farewell party. I'm so mad at these people, because our entire plan was to surprise Nav. Well, apparently our entire plan is gonna have to be changed. Screw. Oops. Christie said I'm not allowed to screw anyone anymore. XD No more screwing. Scout's honour. XDXD

Lightbulbs: 1. I realised that I have been abandoning my classical piano for pop, country and singing. I won the charity competition and the competitors there were of diploma grade or higher. I should have been proud. Well yeah, I am, but I don't feel the same elation I felt when I won the singing competition in church. Singing seems to be pushing classical piano away bit by bit everyday. I'm worrying about that 'cause exam's in Dec...and this ain't no silly grades anymore. This is the professional deal. HELP.

Today's Flashbacks: 1. I remembered the Genting trip in 2006. How Navian walked right into a mirror. How Christie and I laughed like idiots at him.

2. I remembered how I used to be a total mouse in school. Yeah...mouse. Well, its not like i'm the social queen now. But i am standing out now, rather than always hiding behind friends like last time.

What I Wanna Throw At A Wall: 1. I'm angry about you freaks who keep asking me the same questions. Especially those I call close friends. How many freaking times must I say, "No, I'm not jealous. No, I don't care. No, I'm fine. No, I'm seriously not lying."

2. I'm angry about the teasing. I had enough of teasing. SHUT UP PEOPLE. If this happened last year, it would be so flattered. But right now, I'm really too busy to care, I had enough of this kind of thing and I really wouldn't care about what you all say, except that some of you like to say it right in my ear. To summarise it, its annoying.

Inquisitive Questions: 1. Who has watched Camp Rock? Its a good show which I can say I really really relate to.

Signing off,
Seluar Pandai.

P.S. Smartee is currently studying Geography. (last minute study :P)