What do you do when you have PROBLEMS like
1. Peer pressure
2. Family problems
3. Failure in studies
4. Success that burdens you with...
...more peer pressure (5)
6. a brother who is not close to you
7. a sister who is 3000 miles away
8. peer pressure
9. peer pressure
10. a stupid private blog which is exactly what it is: a stupid private blog. No pun intended. Seriously.
My main current difficulties are 1, 4, 5, 8 and 9. The story is basically simple.
So-so wants me to be constantly with her while so-and-so wants me to talk to her while two other so-so's talk about me behind my back because i ignore them having to deal with so-so and so-and-so. then all of a sudden, both so-so and so-and-so ditches me then i'm left alone (which i honestly don't mind, for a change) but then somebody comes and talks non stop about boys to me, irritating me all the way to heaven and hell, then halfway through, so-so decides she wants my attention so she pesters me until she has my 100% undivided attention BUT THEN when i say hi to so-and-so, she sulks and ignores me with the excuse that i have been ignoring her while i was talking to so-so. I honestly enjoy talking to the other two so-so's but most of the time I don't get the chance to.
*so-so and so-and-so are two different people.
*the other so-so's are two different people from so-so and I'll name them so-so 1 and so-so 2.
*somebody is also a person
*all in there are five people i mentioned.
*the story above refers to problem number 1, 8 and 9.
Continuation:
Out of those five people, three of them talks about so-so 1 behind her back, complaining, gossiping, blah-blahing.
Out of those five people, four of them dislikes so-so at certain times. really dislike. In fact, I'm one of the few that try to stand up for her. I'm not putting myself high up, just stating a fact.
Out of those five people, i realise that somebody barely has friends at all, and we barely have anything in common, which is why she blabs nonstop about boys to me, and nothing else.
Out of those five people, one has family problems alike mine, another has peer pressure alike me, one has romance problems, unlike me (...what?), one has the entire world against her, quite unlike me (hopefully), and the last has...nearly the whole world against her.
Please. What do I do with my five favourite friends. And that was a statement, not a question. But i don't mind you treating it as a question. Post answers in the comments.
Now, lets move on to problem 4 and 5.
She's jealous. I know it. Its obvious. Why? ...because she shows it. But I don't blame her, honestly. I feel that everytime she's with me, she tries to accentuate her good points, as though shoving them in my face. she'll try to show everyone around us that she's good, she can do stuff. I had...and have a decent amount of success, particularly in the music field, considering my age and living environment. And i'm truly thankful, grateful and happy about that. What I can't help being saddened by is my peers. Most of them honestly support me to the best they can. But some are jealous, and though they...she, in particular...are happy for me, they show obvious jealousy. Which is directed to me. Which makes me very unhappy. I don't think i'm the type of person who tries to boast and show talent or anything. But some of my friends do, particularly when in the presence of adults such as teachers.
They do not show of directly, but indirectly make a snide remarks here and there about me, and a praising remark about themselves. I...do not approve or like it of course, but i understand why they do so. Not that it stops them from hurting me.
Insecurity. Competition.
I feel these are the two main factors. Those who feel insecure about themselves, feeling they are less than expected, and less successful than their peers will tend to try to demonstrate show their upper skills and points, maybe because they know they are not quite good enough YET, but want to be, so they give a big show that they ARE. Second factor: competition...among friends...peers. No one likes to feel as though they are second after their best friend. Need i explain more?
Haih, everyone wants to be the top. But when you are at the top and there's friends...best friends who are jealous of you, its not a nice feeling. Suddenly, whatever success you have feels like a burden to you. So which one is more important to me? Friends? Or success?
Normally a question like that will get a total godly untruthful lame lie, which barely passes as an excuse of an answer.
But in this situation...you're good in singing and piano-ing (yeah i did that on purpose), you won the lousyfornothing school competition, you write decent songs easily, you understand chords and blah blah, you're talented in this that this that and so on so forth. and just cuz a friends jealous, would you give up all that? TRUTHFULLY.
obviously. No. Which bring me back to the first question. Friends or interests/success?
Hehe, my answer is. *drumroll*
GOD.
Which brings me to my next point. I feel like i've been having a growth spurt spiritually. Imagine that everytime you learn something new about God, you grow one day old. I'm probably a few years old, spiritually...counting it in that way. I...LOVE...god, church and everything in it. Its one of the few things that keeps me from screaming out loud at the end of the day just cuz I had a little blooper with jealousy. And family. Well, nobody's life is perfect as mike and a million other ...TEN MILLION other people say.
And in my imperfect life with perfect dreams, I, the small short tiny 14 year old mousy girl intend to make the best of it. Regardless of ...
1. Peer pressure
2. Family problems
3. WHATEVER THAT DARES TO STAND IN MY WAY....what a unfeminine statement...
Signing off after a long blah on her life,
~Asian Pants Smart.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Tagged by vivia.......I MEAN NAVIAN.
Instructions : Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.
But I ain't gonna follow the instructions.
1. At what age do you wish to marry?
Why do you even care WHEN I marry? Here I was thinking you'd be more curious about WHO I marry. ...yeah..it was deliberate cheekiness...
2. If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
I love you, even though you suck so bad.
3. If you were to be stranded on a desert island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you?
~my dog
~my other dog
~my neighbour's dog.
Jk...I would take Am, Yu Kit and Nav.
4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
That place in my dream
5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
That's easy to say. 10 sentences.
I. Want. To. Be. Singing. For. People. My. Entire. Life.
Oh wait...those were words, not sentences.
6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Yes. Its easy, really. Just find lots of gold.
7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
Its personal. I can't tell you
8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
~Belanja Pauline makan every Wednesday
~Invest
~Record private albums with Pearly.
~Go girly shopping with Joey
~Get dancing lessons
~Buy my dad lots of chocolates
~Get my mum a new phone.
Do you seriously wanna hear it all?
...
...
...
Yeah, i didn't think so too.
9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
If you meet someone you DON'T love, would you tell that person?
NO, SILLY!
10. List out 3 good points of the person that tagged you.
~ He's funny and amusing
~ Fun to be with (bully, that is)
~ Kind, and willing to help...I think.
Honestly, I wish you asked me to list his bad points. I can give you about...20 XD
11. What are the other requirements that you wish from your other half?
Stop being mean to my friends.
12. Which type of person do you dislike the most?
People who lie = people who tell half truths = people who hurt others
13. What is your ambition?
Singer
14. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
Isn't this the same question as no. 12?
15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
There are a few things that are equally important. There is no most important.
16. If you are to die one day, who you wish to spend the last day with?
Friends and my idol since I was 7, Celine Dion.
17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
I don't want to change. I want people to like me for me, not for what they think I am.
18. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Pearly, Yu Kit ...and maybe...just maybe...Ben...
19. Which is less important? friends? family? pet? money?
Pet...since I don't have one.
20. What can your beloved one do to make you touch?
I'll tell you when "my beloved one" does whatever it is that makes me feel touched.
NOW I TAG
1. Christie!
2. Sara!
3. Kelly!
4. Yu Kit!
5. Jackie!
6.Pauline!
7. and her lover, Jeff!
8. ...AMELIA!!!
But I ain't gonna follow the instructions.
1. At what age do you wish to marry?
Why do you even care WHEN I marry? Here I was thinking you'd be more curious about WHO I marry. ...yeah..it was deliberate cheekiness...
2. If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
I love you, even though you suck so bad.
3. If you were to be stranded on a desert island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you?
~my dog
~my other dog
~my neighbour's dog.
Jk...I would take Am, Yu Kit and Nav.
4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
That place in my dream
5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
That's easy to say. 10 sentences.
I. Want. To. Be. Singing. For. People. My. Entire. Life.
Oh wait...those were words, not sentences.
6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Yes. Its easy, really. Just find lots of gold.
7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
Its personal. I can't tell you
8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
~Belanja Pauline makan every Wednesday
~Invest
~Record private albums with Pearly.
~Go girly shopping with Joey
~Get dancing lessons
~Buy my dad lots of chocolates
~Get my mum a new phone.
Do you seriously wanna hear it all?
...
...
...
Yeah, i didn't think so too.
9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
If you meet someone you DON'T love, would you tell that person?
NO, SILLY!
10. List out 3 good points of the person that tagged you.
~ He's funny and amusing
~ Fun to be with (bully, that is)
~ Kind, and willing to help...I think.
Honestly, I wish you asked me to list his bad points. I can give you about...20 XD
11. What are the other requirements that you wish from your other half?
Stop being mean to my friends.
12. Which type of person do you dislike the most?
People who lie = people who tell half truths = people who hurt others
13. What is your ambition?
Singer
14. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
Isn't this the same question as no. 12?
15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
There are a few things that are equally important. There is no most important.
16. If you are to die one day, who you wish to spend the last day with?
Friends and my idol since I was 7, Celine Dion.
17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
I don't want to change. I want people to like me for me, not for what they think I am.
18. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Pearly, Yu Kit ...and maybe...just maybe...Ben...
19. Which is less important? friends? family? pet? money?
Pet...since I don't have one.
20. What can your beloved one do to make you touch?
I'll tell you when "my beloved one" does whatever it is that makes me feel touched.
NOW I TAG
1. Christie!
2. Sara!
3. Kelly!
4. Yu Kit!
5. Jackie!
6.Pauline!
7. and her lover, Jeff!
8. ...AMELIA!!!
My Life Is Going Downhill
Firstly, I'm sick.
AGAIN.
I mean...I wouldn't be complaining, honestly, I LOVE getting sick (It means i get to sleep till 2pm and skip school), but come on...this year...i think this must've been the 6th time I'm sick this year. And we're only onto the month of May. And ALL six times...its always the same. High fever. Sorethroat.
Sorethroat. Highfever. 41 celsius. For a moment, i thought i was gonna die. as in literal terms.
Secondly, I cancelled it.
I cancelled the biggest-performance-which-is-such-a-great-chance-and-i-worked-so-hard-on-it-to-the-point-where-i-got-sick-and-i-was-so-enthusiastic-about-it and guess what?
i bloody freaking cancelled it. I'm talking about the PJ gig which was right on 17th May...where my ok-ok band was suppose to perform. 5 songs.
----this part was edited out as it depicted violent crying and swearing (smashing things) which is apparently not suited for the eyes of the sophisicated teens/fans who constantly keep in touch with my blog-----
Well, you can't blame meee, but you can blame them. No, actually, you can't blame them either, seeing its not really their fault. The fault is mine, really. But that's not the worse part. The worse part is ...people. Parents...they lecture. They say they will support me in whatever decision I make (KONONNYA!!!!!) but in the end, who gets lectured? ....yours truly....
Friends..they keep asking "why you cancelled it?!!!!!"..no, they don't ask. they yell it out. And i'd be like, "Oh..exams." I mean, that's not even the real reason...but OBVIOUSLY I wasn't in the mood to say anything.
The real reason is: WE SUCK. and WE CAN'T.
I hate my band.
But maybe this is for the better, since Ben has his own problems right now.
Thirdly, *edited out* This part was meant specially for my private blog...cause' its personal, and i ain't letting you guys read anything personal. And private.
Half dead = Sapphire.
PLEAVE leave a comment if you DO read this. I'm feeling angry at my life now and i WANT to be comforted and told that everything will be okay. So LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST OR ELSE.
Sucks to be me, sucks to be in Destiny United, sucks to be in Under 18, sucks to be in a sucky band,
~Smartee
AGAIN.
I mean...I wouldn't be complaining, honestly, I LOVE getting sick (It means i get to sleep till 2pm and skip school), but come on...this year...i think this must've been the 6th time I'm sick this year. And we're only onto the month of May. And ALL six times...its always the same. High fever. Sorethroat.
Sorethroat. Highfever. 41 celsius. For a moment, i thought i was gonna die. as in literal terms.
Secondly, I cancelled it.
I cancelled the biggest-performance-which-is-such-a-great-chance-and-i-worked-so-hard-on-it-to-the-point-where-i-got-sick-and-i-was-so-enthusiastic-about-it and guess what?
i bloody freaking cancelled it. I'm talking about the PJ gig which was right on 17th May...where my ok-ok band was suppose to perform. 5 songs.
----this part was edited out as it depicted violent crying and swearing (smashing things) which is apparently not suited for the eyes of the sophisicated teens/fans who constantly keep in touch with my blog-----
Well, you can't blame meee, but you can blame them. No, actually, you can't blame them either, seeing its not really their fault. The fault is mine, really. But that's not the worse part. The worse part is ...people. Parents...they lecture. They say they will support me in whatever decision I make (KONONNYA!!!!!) but in the end, who gets lectured? ....yours truly....
Friends..they keep asking "why you cancelled it?!!!!!"..no, they don't ask. they yell it out. And i'd be like, "Oh..exams." I mean, that's not even the real reason...but OBVIOUSLY I wasn't in the mood to say anything.
The real reason is: WE SUCK. and WE CAN'T.
I hate my band.
But maybe this is for the better, since Ben has his own problems right now.
Thirdly, *edited out* This part was meant specially for my private blog...cause' its personal, and i ain't letting you guys read anything personal. And private.
Half dead = Sapphire.
PLEAVE leave a comment if you DO read this. I'm feeling angry at my life now and i WANT to be comforted and told that everything will be okay. So LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST OR ELSE.
Sucks to be me, sucks to be in Destiny United, sucks to be in Under 18, sucks to be in a sucky band,
~Smartee
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