Oh, people out there, my blog fans, my blog FRIENDS, my blog strangers...I AM SO SORRY.
Sorry ...for not posting in such a long time
Sorry ...for ignoring you guys whenever you asked (ahem...demanded) me to update
Sorry ...for being an annoying pesky brat at school
Sorry ...for copying your homework all the time
Sorry ...for always arguing with some friends
Sorry ...for demanding for cookies from other friends..
...well we're getting a little off topic aren't we?
Anyway, reason why I haven't posted in a long time is.
1. I'm too busy with my social life...jk
2. Too busy with lousy school...fact.
3. Too busy with music. Speaking of which, I'm getting obsessed.
4. Trying to get involved with church. Just trying. But that already means my
Friday, Saturday and Sunday semua hilang habis to church.
5. Too busy with myself. I'm like...sinking into my brain. Literally. Day dream too much.
6. The main reason: ...I've been posting alot on my private blog.
So much that I've practically abandoned my public blog. Honestly...private blogs are really cool. On public blogs, you've gotta watch your mouth, or fingers...in this case...in case you say - uh, type - something wrong. But private blogs...literally, you can rant, scream, yell, shout, go crazy, and no one's gonna scold you. Its where you can praise people without other people knowing it. Its where you can confess embarrassing stuff without being laughed at. Um...its where I have conversations with God. Yeah..through my private blog. Weird, i know, but true. So yesh, I really advise you get a private blog.
Its REALLY fun. Especially when you scold the blog. It CAN'T talk back. Bestest thing ever. You can even swear in its face. It'll just listen and listen and won't talk back. Public blogs do...because idiotic people tend to post mean comments when you cuss.
GET A PRIVVY BLOG!!! NOW!!!
Man...I sound like i'm advertising or something. Well, I'm not. I don't advertise for bloggy things...I only advertise for...well, getting off the topic again. I tend to rant a lot nowsadays. Got influenced by Am.
Elia.
Yeah...i call Amelia just Am. Its way shorter. But whatever. Off topic again. Back to the topic.
And what's the topic?
Whatever.
Bye you bad blog which spouts my secrets to the whole world, I'm off to chit chat with my private blog, the one that just listens quietly.
Ciao, bye, aur revoir, I won't miss you.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
That's the reason why.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhLyULDe3Ws&feature=related
It made me lie down on my bed for 2 hours, just thinking.
Suddenly, everything's clear. It doesn't matter. There is no need to explain.
It made me lie down on my bed for 2 hours, just thinking.
Suddenly, everything's clear. It doesn't matter. There is no need to explain.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Koon Thong's......
.....lousy birthday party.
Alright, it wasn't lousy...not totally...but in the beginning, it was oh-so-boring. Didn't have transport, my dad REFUSED to fetch me. So i had to follow Navian...Benjamin. Man, his dad really scares me, asked me LOTS of questions. I was...shivering inside. Adults are meanies. Reached KT's house at 3.00...somewhere around there. Surprisingly, most of the guys were already there...but guess what? I WAS THE ONLY FREAKING GIRL THERE. And those selfish idiots wouldn't have let me play the lousy PS or computer even if i asked...so I called Christie up, amd moaned to her for 30 minutes, nearly got her into trouble with her parents. :D I'm such an angel, don't you think?
Forced Navian to wear the shirt...but didn't get any good photos. And he was SO SHY. Oh yeah...messed around with KT's dog...a real pervert who keeps attacking everyone's....nevermind, you don't wanna hear it.
Then Gwen came. Then Ker Ikr. Then the other girl-whatsit-i-forgot-her-name. Then Kelly came. With Yu kit and Sean. She looked kinda drained...well, guess the camp tired her out. Kept saying she stinks...but I personally didn't think so. She DID NOT stink...and i'm sure navian thought she smelled like flowers. :P At about this time...Joey came..
Then went down for food...which honestly, uh well...hehe, you know what i mean. Then as usual...they take LOTS OF PHOTOS of the birthday boy. And all those traitors called friends of course had to do the "couple take photo" thing. Which means I got bullied. And kelly was forced to sit in between navian and ming yang. HAHA, torn into two.
hours later, they cut the cake...and then everyone started throwing cake around...smacking cream onto everybody. Me and gwen kinda got into a cream fight...but then things changed...and I ended up chasing Kelly around. BUT THEN AGAIN, while chasing her...things changed AGAIN....and i came out of this "wonderful" ordeal...still alive, but drenched in chilli sauce. Thank you so much. *glares at SOMEBODY*
Went home and took a 40 minute bath...washing off the crappy combination of cream, watermelon juice and that lousy chilli.
Woke up the next day, which is today...half asleep, as always. Suffered through school, came home, banged on the piano, came online and am now writing this stupid blog. Time go sign off.
~Courtney Smartee Pants
P.S. I confess...I actually drank at the party. BUT VERY LITLE ONLY, OKAY?? About...three quarters of a can...and its ONLY BEER. Gwen drank the other one quarter and went totally red in the face...started laughing like crazy. Hmm, wonder if she got drunk. Hey come on buddies, i drank considerably little...don't tell my mummy and daddy. Hush. Keep it a secret between me and my blog fans. :P
Alright, it wasn't lousy...not totally...but in the beginning, it was oh-so-boring. Didn't have transport, my dad REFUSED to fetch me. So i had to follow Navian...Benjamin. Man, his dad really scares me, asked me LOTS of questions. I was...shivering inside. Adults are meanies. Reached KT's house at 3.00...somewhere around there. Surprisingly, most of the guys were already there...but guess what? I WAS THE ONLY FREAKING GIRL THERE. And those selfish idiots wouldn't have let me play the lousy PS or computer even if i asked...so I called Christie up, amd moaned to her for 30 minutes, nearly got her into trouble with her parents. :D I'm such an angel, don't you think?
Forced Navian to wear the shirt...but didn't get any good photos. And he was SO SHY. Oh yeah...messed around with KT's dog...a real pervert who keeps attacking everyone's....nevermind, you don't wanna hear it.
Then Gwen came. Then Ker Ikr. Then the other girl-whatsit-i-forgot-her-name. Then Kelly came. With Yu kit and Sean. She looked kinda drained...well, guess the camp tired her out. Kept saying she stinks...but I personally didn't think so. She DID NOT stink...and i'm sure navian thought she smelled like flowers. :P At about this time...Joey came..
Then went down for food...which honestly, uh well...hehe, you know what i mean. Then as usual...they take LOTS OF PHOTOS of the birthday boy. And all those traitors called friends of course had to do the "couple take photo" thing. Which means I got bullied. And kelly was forced to sit in between navian and ming yang. HAHA, torn into two.
hours later, they cut the cake...and then everyone started throwing cake around...smacking cream onto everybody. Me and gwen kinda got into a cream fight...but then things changed...and I ended up chasing Kelly around. BUT THEN AGAIN, while chasing her...things changed AGAIN....and i came out of this "wonderful" ordeal...still alive, but drenched in chilli sauce. Thank you so much. *glares at SOMEBODY*
Went home and took a 40 minute bath...washing off the crappy combination of cream, watermelon juice and that lousy chilli.
Woke up the next day, which is today...half asleep, as always. Suffered through school, came home, banged on the piano, came online and am now writing this stupid blog. Time go sign off.
~Courtney Smartee Pants
P.S. I confess...I actually drank at the party. BUT VERY LITLE ONLY, OKAY?? About...three quarters of a can...and its ONLY BEER. Gwen drank the other one quarter and went totally red in the face...started laughing like crazy. Hmm, wonder if she got drunk. Hey come on buddies, i drank considerably little...don't tell my mummy and daddy. Hush. Keep it a secret between me and my blog fans. :P
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Sports Day :D
Hmm, let me start off with yesterday. i absolutely HATE Navian Viknas for doing that to me and Pauline!! Si rakha' deu!!!! I SCREAMED at him for about 10 minutes yesterday...and would have gone on for hours if that old frog/turtle of a Mishah hadn't barged into the class. I mean, can't he just be a good boy and keep it quiet? Hmmph, i SWEAR, if he was any other guy, i would NOT have forgiven him. But no, it is impossible to get mad at him. Which means the idiot is forgiven. But still, hmph.
And to the topic...today was sports day! Boo...and yay. I think this year was the MOST BORING hari sukan i EVER lived through. Basically, all my sapphire friends ditched me, so I ended up hanging with Christie and Sara, talking about everything and nothing. Spent the whole morning laughing at kawad teams and all the crappy larian. Also irritated sara, christie and sean by taking LOTS of pictures of them. :D
It was Wan Jiun's birthday too!!! They had some kind of cake fight..slapping cream on everyone's faces. I DID NOT plan to be involved. But then OF COURSE peter had to come about and flick stinky cream at me and Christie. So basically i ended up tossing water at that stupid Jeff and throwing cake at everyone else.........................EXCEPT FOR SARA. That girl is someone you don't wanna mess with. :D
Lalala, Sapphire got second place this year. And Emerald got last. But i'll TRY not to shove it in their faces.
Oh yeah, and i NEARLY did face painting with sara. It was just so tempting, but those people in charge drew SO horribly that we decided not to. I mean, honestly...they NEED art lessons.
And to the topic...today was sports day! Boo...and yay. I think this year was the MOST BORING hari sukan i EVER lived through. Basically, all my sapphire friends ditched me, so I ended up hanging with Christie and Sara, talking about everything and nothing. Spent the whole morning laughing at kawad teams and all the crappy larian. Also irritated sara, christie and sean by taking LOTS of pictures of them. :D
It was Wan Jiun's birthday too!!! They had some kind of cake fight..slapping cream on everyone's faces. I DID NOT plan to be involved. But then OF COURSE peter had to come about and flick stinky cream at me and Christie. So basically i ended up tossing water at that stupid Jeff and throwing cake at everyone else.........................EXCEPT FOR SARA. That girl is someone you don't wanna mess with. :D
Lalala, Sapphire got second place this year. And Emerald got last. But i'll TRY not to shove it in their faces.
Oh yeah, and i NEARLY did face painting with sara. It was just so tempting, but those people in charge drew SO horribly that we decided not to. I mean, honestly...they NEED art lessons.
Monday, February 4, 2008
6 Musytari
I miss that class. But first things first.
I don't know why, but I've been like...feeling kinda down these days. And it doesn't help that everyone makes assumptions on WHY I'm down. Today was freaky hell at school, in the beginning at least. We had to sit at the STOOPEED galeri gemilang for god-knows-how-long, watching lame anti dadah rubbish and life-love-sex videos which the teachers claimed were educational.
I missed both videos. :P. typical me. Started fighting with Pearly for the Twilight book. and THEN, luck of the vampires, she got her Amber Spyglass, so I could have Twilight all to myself. Read myself silly, and tuned out of the lame tak-nak-dadah-rubbish. Somehow or rather, reading Twilight made me even more fidgety, it reminded me of something I had forgotten for so long. Something I didn't want to be reminded of. Got me a little hurt and surprised...and it made me slam the book shut and not open it again.
Then after recess, while we were doing some lame activity (Its lame, right christie?), the surprise came...new year card. :D was VERY SURPRISED because I didn't expect someone to scoot over asking who and where Vicki is. and it came from...Mr/Mrs/Ms Anonymous. Asked that fella who delivered the cards who sent it...but he won't tell me. BOO HOO. It kinda cheered me up for a moment, until this Kehlee and Christie started making up songs about SA's...okay, lets not go into that.
Serious SWT. That put me into my "down" mood immediately.
2 hours before hitting the road, this STUPID teacher had to make each class sing the stupid school song..and this Amelia positioned herself DIRECTLY BEHIND me and SCREECHED at the top of her voice. I think she broke my eardrums, my auditory canal, my ear pinna, my ear's eustachian tube...so on so forth. Which brings me to the topic of 6M....reminds me of the choir we had in standard six. I miss 6M. Badly. Some of us...just sat in a circle, remembering old times, then pauline started singing old choir songs. I couldn't help turning to Christie and muttering "nostalgic..." Haih...how we played truth or dare with nav and all. how i teased everyone. how pauline and sin mun kept teasing me about, NO I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT IT. how ben used to annoy us with his "petrified" song. how sin mun used to bully TKL. How our class won the choir competition. UPSR. Graduation day.
Its eating me up inside. I miss 6M SO badly. Forget it. Its over and gone.
G'night, ~Smartee~
Oh yeah, something else is eating me up too. I NEED and WANT to know who sent that card. Tell me if you know.
I don't know why, but I've been like...feeling kinda down these days. And it doesn't help that everyone makes assumptions on WHY I'm down. Today was freaky hell at school, in the beginning at least. We had to sit at the STOOPEED galeri gemilang for god-knows-how-long, watching lame anti dadah rubbish and life-love-sex videos which the teachers claimed were educational.
I missed both videos. :P. typical me. Started fighting with Pearly for the Twilight book. and THEN, luck of the vampires, she got her Amber Spyglass, so I could have Twilight all to myself. Read myself silly, and tuned out of the lame tak-nak-dadah-rubbish. Somehow or rather, reading Twilight made me even more fidgety, it reminded me of something I had forgotten for so long. Something I didn't want to be reminded of. Got me a little hurt and surprised...and it made me slam the book shut and not open it again.
Then after recess, while we were doing some lame activity (Its lame, right christie?), the surprise came...new year card. :D was VERY SURPRISED because I didn't expect someone to scoot over asking who and where Vicki is. and it came from...Mr/Mrs/Ms Anonymous. Asked that fella who delivered the cards who sent it...but he won't tell me. BOO HOO. It kinda cheered me up for a moment, until this Kehlee and Christie started making up songs about SA's...okay, lets not go into that.
Serious SWT. That put me into my "down" mood immediately.
2 hours before hitting the road, this STUPID teacher had to make each class sing the stupid school song..and this Amelia positioned herself DIRECTLY BEHIND me and SCREECHED at the top of her voice. I think she broke my eardrums, my auditory canal, my ear pinna, my ear's eustachian tube...so on so forth. Which brings me to the topic of 6M....reminds me of the choir we had in standard six. I miss 6M. Badly. Some of us...just sat in a circle, remembering old times, then pauline started singing old choir songs. I couldn't help turning to Christie and muttering "nostalgic..." Haih...how we played truth or dare with nav and all. how i teased everyone. how pauline and sin mun kept teasing me about, NO I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT IT. how ben used to annoy us with his "petrified" song. how sin mun used to bully TKL. How our class won the choir competition. UPSR. Graduation day.
Its eating me up inside. I miss 6M SO badly. Forget it. Its over and gone.
G'night, ~Smartee~
Oh yeah, something else is eating me up too. I NEED and WANT to know who sent that card. Tell me if you know.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The last one.
The last one went this morning. She was my last and final...and she left this morning. One died when I was 6, another when i was 9 years. The other one, i never knew him. Now her, the final one, was gone. I never knew one, and I lost three.
The phone call came in at 9.30..I was still sleeping when my mum shook me awake and broke the news to me. It was kinda hard to comprehend what she was saying at first...and even up till now, 10 hours later, i don't think i still can accept the fact.
We drove over almost immediately...and even as we reached, extension tents were already being set up. I saw the body, yellow and cramped in with death. None of my cousins were there...except for the youngest...a mere 7 year old. I was on the verge of crying...but I didn't...at least, not until I was alone with my cousin. I knew that everyone else viewed me as this stoic, cold, expressionless girl who never really said anything, just keeping quiet all the time, never really cared. So I wasn't about to start bawling right in front of aunty uncle from all four corners of the globe.
Later, I met my 7 year old cousin in an empty room...and i just listened as she sobbed her heart out. I cried too, but all the more i hated myself. I never truly had any affection for her...she was not part of my life. I cried simply because of the fact that she was gone, and I had lost all of them now. I cried because I no longer had any in my life. I cried for my selfish reasons, not for her death. And I hate myself for it.
My grandmother would be cremated on this coming Monday. I wish I could say I missed her, but I won't...because I don't. Right, so you guys are probably thinking i'm this emotionless self centered bitch, and maybe you're right, but i never really knew her. Her death...would not...could not affect me. And then friends started calling...and i had to go all "my grandma passed away, this that this that."
Bridget was right. It felt wrong to say "passed away." Saying the word "died" would have made me felt better, closer to reality. Bridget was absolutely right.
Turning to happier matters, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Navian Lee Viknas, enjoy monday. I bought the shirt, please don't wash it. I'm regretting I can't come on monday.
or maybe i can.
Hmm.
The phone call came in at 9.30..I was still sleeping when my mum shook me awake and broke the news to me. It was kinda hard to comprehend what she was saying at first...and even up till now, 10 hours later, i don't think i still can accept the fact.
We drove over almost immediately...and even as we reached, extension tents were already being set up. I saw the body, yellow and cramped in with death. None of my cousins were there...except for the youngest...a mere 7 year old. I was on the verge of crying...but I didn't...at least, not until I was alone with my cousin. I knew that everyone else viewed me as this stoic, cold, expressionless girl who never really said anything, just keeping quiet all the time, never really cared. So I wasn't about to start bawling right in front of aunty uncle from all four corners of the globe.
Later, I met my 7 year old cousin in an empty room...and i just listened as she sobbed her heart out. I cried too, but all the more i hated myself. I never truly had any affection for her...she was not part of my life. I cried simply because of the fact that she was gone, and I had lost all of them now. I cried because I no longer had any in my life. I cried for my selfish reasons, not for her death. And I hate myself for it.
My grandmother would be cremated on this coming Monday. I wish I could say I missed her, but I won't...because I don't. Right, so you guys are probably thinking i'm this emotionless self centered bitch, and maybe you're right, but i never really knew her. Her death...would not...could not affect me. And then friends started calling...and i had to go all "my grandma passed away, this that this that."
Bridget was right. It felt wrong to say "passed away." Saying the word "died" would have made me felt better, closer to reality. Bridget was absolutely right.
Turning to happier matters, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Navian Lee Viknas, enjoy monday. I bought the shirt, please don't wash it. I'm regretting I can't come on monday.
or maybe i can.
Hmm.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Starting over
I guess I kinda surprised myself...seeing how much I miss that lousy school and all during last year's long holidays. It feels like such a relief to be back in school...but darn..having to wake up at 5 in the morning. That's the lousiest part of school. Why must we have 24 hours in a day?! Why not 60 hours!??
2K...was surprisingly very...uh, um, strange, i guess...with amelia and the whatnot there. Yeah..halfway through lessons, amelia would suddenly burst into the phantom song, loud enough for the whole class to hear, then she'll start complimenting herself on..
"My singing is the best in the world!"
And so on so forth.
Oh yea, yesterday...i went down swimming again...after nearly months of inactivity with the swimming pool downstairs. It just felt so great...diving through the cloudy (yeah, the pool was kinda dirty) water...despite the fact that it was dirty. My dad has been saying i should bo down for quite long already...i think what he meant was I must go down.
Timed my freestyle ...50 metres... and...and...damn, i hated it... can't believe how much i've detiorated ...regressed...or however you spell the stupid word. I SWEAR i'm gonna built up my speed again. Pfft...37 seconds 50m...what an insult. PFFT. I'm so angry with myself.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.
Hmph.
2K...was surprisingly very...uh, um, strange, i guess...with amelia and the whatnot there. Yeah..halfway through lessons, amelia would suddenly burst into the phantom song, loud enough for the whole class to hear, then she'll start complimenting herself on..
"My singing is the best in the world!"
And so on so forth.
Oh yea, yesterday...i went down swimming again...after nearly months of inactivity with the swimming pool downstairs. It just felt so great...diving through the cloudy (yeah, the pool was kinda dirty) water...despite the fact that it was dirty. My dad has been saying i should bo down for quite long already...i think what he meant was I must go down.
Timed my freestyle ...50 metres... and...and...damn, i hated it... can't believe how much i've detiorated ...regressed...or however you spell the stupid word. I SWEAR i'm gonna built up my speed again. Pfft...37 seconds 50m...what an insult. PFFT. I'm so angry with myself.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.
Hmph.
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